What Men Want

Most would say that all men want is sex, money, and power and not in any particular order.  Thinking about it, this could possibly be a correct statement.  All jokes aside I think women will find it interesting what men really want out of life especially out of a relationship underneath the surface.  If a man is not ready he really only wants the things I mention in the beginning.  I have compiled a list of what I think men want and some tips.  Let the debating begin!!!!!!

Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women. Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests. On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.

My experience is that women think men don’t want women to need them. That is far from the truth. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and possibly make him run away.

A tip for women
Men want what women want — a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a great man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment.

Men want a manipulation-free relationship.  Men want no manipulation of any kind. I repeat man want no manipulation of any kind.  They do not want to be mind readers or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.

Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism or problems that they see in the relationship.

A tip for women
Men will not accept manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Just because it makes sense to you does not to mean it makes sense to him.  Learn to be aware of his timing and his time-line. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.  You can get what you want out of a man it is learning how to communicate with him. 

Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership.  Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.

Women think men only want to have a good time. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a
woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving.

A tip for women
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.

 Men want women who know how men need to be treated.  Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.

Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, and their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.

A tip for women
Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you.

Men do you think this is accurate?  Women do you honestly believe in your heart this is what men want?  How can men better show you what it is that he wants?  What are the differences in a woman’s eyes between healthy disagreements and just terrible all out communication?

Also Ladies don’t worry we will educate the men on what women really want.  We know that we have to do better.

Inspired by Rinatta Paries

Counselor Dave

40 thoughts on “What Men Want

  1. Men want a woman that can be every woman. Homey, lover, friend. Traditional and non traditional. Etc etc. And not be afraid to admit that they can’t be every woman but are willing to try. And in return want to be and will try to be every man for their woman.

    1. Personally all I want is good food, good communication and a good intimate life form my wife. To elaborate on intimate life sex is a main ingredient to intamcy but it is not the soul (sole) ingredient. I want a women to know me. I don’t want to feel uncomfortable with my partner or weird. If i like oatmeal, she loves it. Doesn’t mean she has to eat it, but be accommodating to the fact, especially if it causes you no harm. Now if I like to rob banks and you don’t like to rob banks…we have a serious issue.

      I want a women that dives into spiritual depths, not just the top layer, cookie cutter stuff. Tell me your story! How does God take you to where you need to go? How do you allow God to use you. How will God be mainfested in our relationship.

      I want a wife like Rebecca with out the MANIPULATION! Rebecca took initiative and got the job done, whatever that may be, which is what I want. Rebecca was also manipulative in getting what she wanted, even putting her children in between her and Isaac, I don’t want this (Story found in Genesis 25:20 to 27:46) .

    2. You are so right. I think that women want things sometimes but dont want to give. A real man is going to give more than you could if you are handling business.

  2. I want a woman that knows how to communicate with me. We do not need to discuss every single issue. Ladies this is how we place you in the nagging category. Pick and choose your battles. I love a woman that takes the time to under stand me. If I am quiet it does not mean that something is wrong with me. I just dont really feel like talking right now. Nothing more nothing less. I think the hardest thing that woman have to understand is that men are wired differently. Just because you would like somethind done a certain way does not mean we want the same thing. Get to know us. What I mean by that women tend to be quiet when they want to talk. So they want us to ask what is wrong and rub your back. Men 9 out of 10 we just want to chill if we are not talking.

  3. I think what men want is feasible, but I do have to say that as a woman we have to conform to what men want. It’s a crazy notion, but what’s even crazier is that I’m willing to do it. lol Anyway, I know as a woman, sometimes what we ask for isn’t attainable… as I heard someone say Jesus and Obama are taken, so all of us are going to have to lower our standards some. My question to men and women is, are the characteristics and qualifications you require from a partner, in fact, things you currently or aim to possess yourselves? I always ask my girlfriends how they expect for a man with all the money and possessions that they require him to have will want them if they don’t have two nickels to rub together. I mean aim high, but aim reasonable. You want someone you can grown with, not someone who will leave you in their dust… Anyway, I watched Think like a Man, and I thouroghly enjoyed it… more so because of its honesty… I found myself in a couple of the female characters, and although I don’t identify with anyone of them 100%, I found enough that I just may check it. I can’t wait to hear about what women want… this should be interesting!

    1. It’s a given no one is Jesus; however May I ask if a man is not Pres. Obama, or some other well know patriarch; why would a female be lowering their standards? Some females should realize that individuals just play different roles. Not to place the emphasis on money, but a man working in a factory can make a $100,000 a year just as a male with a per se master’s degree and white collar job may make a $100,000 a year. Does that make one male a lower standard when compared to each other?….

      Im going to check that “think like a man movie out”…who is the producer/director, I herd something about it was made by a comedian named Steve Hardy? A comedian making a movie about relationships?

      Andy (Counselor)

      1. Well I only used that example as a joke to say that women should not expect for some perfect man to grace their lives, it is a cynical comparison. I have a clear vision of people, and to my knowledge no one is perfect, to include President Obama. PLUS, I heard some comedienne use it! ANYWAY, to answer your question I don’t think in general it has anything to do with money… it has to do with social class. I know money is a factor, however its more about your surroundings and how you’re able to represent yourself and me that makes a difference.
        The comedian’s name is Steve Harvey, and yes I think it’s okay for people to be multifaceted… he is allowed to know about more than just comedy. I’m not saying he is 100% right about everything, but men are mad enough about his writings and books to lead me to believe he may be onto something.

    2. Women kill me with putting President Obama on a petal stool. Stop doing that Obama was a regular guy just 10 years ago which makes him what 40 years old. His wife supported him and brought out the best in him. Look at the type of guy you are with what are his goals? What is his work ethic? Obama can be the man that you have right now. Build him up support him. We as a society always tend to look at the end product instead or the entire journey. Truth be told Michelle had second thoughts about even dating him. So the next time you compare the guy you are dating look beyond what he has right now and what he could have unless he is 45 LOL it is over.

      1. You’re right, President Obama is still a regular guy in my eyes, but the point of the joke has been that he is seen as a man who doesn’t have a lot of “dirt” on him. That’s all… not the perfection of the man, just the perfection in the image he has right now. I think the reality is that he is still a man… and is NOT perfect! At least that’s my reality. As for the rest of your point, I agree… he has a strong support system. And the things she may have brought of him could very well have been the things that we see as his image. I read their story, Michelle is not a slacker… she tutored him and wasn’t interested in him initially.
        Let me be the first to say that it is not a smart idea to compare your man/woman with any other individual… the words “you should be more like___” are never a good choice! Have I cleared things up? lol

  4. I agree with everything in the blog about what men want. It does take time to understand this and as a women matures in love and relationships she will come into the knowledge of what her man wants. All men are not the same and can be at different stages in their development. The important thing to point out is that women should be handling their business and when I say this I am referring to the statement made about having your own friends, interest and taking care of self etc. Having someone who is not only confident but competent is very attrative to either of the sexes……

    Q out

    1. People need to understand the values of a relationship. Sometimes we forget to be the person we were in the beginning. Guy date hoping that you do not change. The is a reason you were chosen so remember that.

  5. With everything it all depends on the person because no one man is alike in his wants, needs, or desires…you have to learn this through spending time, getting to know him, and asking those questions. It will show a genuine interest and men love to feel as though they are interesting. 😉

  6. I agree with the last comment. Not all men and women want the same thing. Some men prefer career-oriented women who can match (or complement) their level of success (the ‘Power Couple’). Some men prefer more family-oriented women who can stay at home and take care of the house, kids, and their man. The key is to know what YOUR partner needs and wants and to make sure they know what YOU need need and want. Then you have to make sure that those needs and wants are properly aligned.

  7. Relationships are hard work. You have to love even when that person might not desire it. Just take it one day at a time and learn your partner. Guys want the same basic things then each guys a little more. Get out of me and start saying us is the first step.

  8. I do find this interesting to what men like. I never really thought that men really want some of that stuff especially talk. Most men do not like to talk about anything no matter what it is. What is an effective way to get a man to communicate with you?

  9. I agree with Sasha Fierce about getting men to communicate. Most men would rather avoid a situation than address it especially if the topic is uncomfortable. What is the best way to have a meaningful dialog?

  10. You have to make him comfortable. You have to know what type of guy you are dealing with. Bring up the topic but let him lead it sometimes. Remember you are a woman and you have feelings so it is hard for a man to just say how he feels without hurting your feelings. Listen to him and take in what he is saying to you. I know it is hard but sometimes you can not get so emotional when he tells you what is on his mind or a problem. Believe it or not a man does not want to hurt your feelings because it hurts him. Also if you pick and chose your battles that will make him open up as well because he knows that something is really wrong and you are not just complaining all the time. We have to realize being in a relationship is totally different from your friends because this is the closet person to you. They are going to get on your nerves. If something is not that big of a deal suck it up and save it for something that really bothers you.

  11. If women really paid attention they would know that men are really simple. We don’t won’t a whole lot. We just want to be happy and it doesn’t take much. Somewhere along the line women lost site of what a man is. They started listening to what society thought and thought thats the way they should act and treat relationships, but its not. You should treat your man and relationship the way that works for you and not what society thinks. If you don’t mind cooking and washing then do it for that man and damn whats Erica and them say. On the other hand if you have a man that does it great. But remember its what works for you. Somewhere along the line everything became about the woman and women never took the time to think about the man. Its never considered what he wants. Everything is all about her. Men will try there best to please you, but how much can he take. Just think about it, you wouldn’t want a man to always do what he wants instead of considering what you want (notice, I said man). So remember to consider that man too and not jus want you want. Just remember that car, house, or whatever yall have is for you ladies. We could care less. We just want to see you happy. Sex is important to men. Its our emotional release. Its a way we like to show love and it shows love towards us. Having sex on a regular basis is important to a man. That not the only thing we wants though. A man that is really into you wants to hold you at night. He wants to know what is going on with you, because this helps him understand you. He wants to make you happy. Seeing you smile is all that he needs to make his day. This is not just coming from me, but many other guys I have talked to also. And the more you try to make him happy, the more effort he will put into making you happy. At the same time ladies, you have to learn to listen instead of everything being your way or no way. You have to learn a skill we mastered a long time, which is not to be mean, but shutting up. See sometimes yall can just keep talking and talking at us. This only makes matters worse. You have to learn to just step back sometimes. Everything I said is meant to help women understand men. Not to demean or put women down in any way. I just want women to hear from a man and not think it. I can truly say I love my sisters and only wish the best for yall. My woman and kids are my #1 priority. I’ll be sure to read your session so I can learn from you also.

    Complicated message from a simple man

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