Did someone do you wrong and you haven’t forgiven them? Have YOU done something to someone and haven’t forgiven yourself? Have you stopped pursuing something you desired to do and you haven’t forgiven yourself? Well, don’t you think it is time to do so? Whether the situation occurred recently or long ago, the process of forgiveness may take time, but you have to FIRST decide that you want to forgive. It takes more energy to hold on to that toxic past; re-energize and detox yourself of that situation! Some say, “I will forgive, but I won’t forget!” Well, you are still harboring the negativity that is associated with the circumstance, and frankly, that is a way for you to validate your emotions. FYI: It’s not solving the issue.

Forgiving others can take time, but forgiving yourself can happen instantaneously! As you are doing that, make forgiving the other person a part of the process and forgiving yourself for not forgiving them is necessary too (Did you get that?!?!)! Anyway, you’ll be and feel better for it.

I remember I had a cool friendship with a person and it fell apart because I felt betrayed by something that occurred and I felt that the person did me wrong. We didn’t talk for years, not on purpose, just based on circumstances of growing in different directions. One day, I got a facebook message, “Hey Janice, how are you?” Of course my heart raced; I was like, “Really, dude?”, while raising an eyebrown. Then I immediately thought about the feeling I was having, instead of the circumstance that was presented. So I said, “Hey, wassup? How are you?” We proceeded to chat and he shared some things with me that he had encountered over the years and the blessings that he had received from the Lord in reference to life, love and happiness. The conversation ended in his apology to me and I couldn’t be mad because we both made dumb mistakes in our younger years. The situation seemed relatively minute afterwhile and I felt that I had to apologize because of the initial resentment I felt when I received that message. The entire situation had to be forgiven. We are really cool again and I am proud of his progress as a person! 🙂

Dr. Jai


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