Simply Know Your Role

I wanted to continue from my last post. I really think that some of the issues that we have in our relationship is that we men and women of today do not have defined roles in a relationship. This is something that men and women from back in the day practice and which probably made the marriage easier. I know that times have changed and to ask a woman to be barefoot and pregnant probably will not work. At the same time you can define your roles.

Women, you can “Control” everything that happens inside the house. This does not mean you have to do even single thing but it can be your responsibility to make sure it happens. Let’s be clear a man is looking for a woman that wants to cook and clean more than him or that is willing to. I am sorry that is what most men want. I think if you delegate some of the duties to your man from time to time he will handle it. Most guys I know do not have a problem help with the household duties.

Men, you should “Control” the household finances, outside household duties, and fix me up projects around the house. Once again this does not mean that you cannot get help from your woman but be a man and get off your butt. Stop letting your woman do everything and wondering why she is always complaining about you not being a man.

Just like a job if your role is not defined you will have issues trying to understand what is needed from you. So if you define your role there is no questions of where you should be and what is needed of you. Once again what do I know I never been married!

Remember to Keep it GC,

Counselor Dave

12 thoughts on “Simply Know Your Role

  1. What?! Roles? I agree that there should be an understanding if who will do what but thsts totally dependent on the situation….But, thats not the problem in our marriages. The problem is that we have gotten away from the basics…the principles that make up the foundation of what a marriage should be. Honor, respect, trust….Everything else will come together. But unless we build our house on a solid foundation, EVERYTHING will be dysfunctional.

  2. I think the term “knowing your role” is a tough “term” to digest for women. It’s used in such a derogatory manner in the past, that it’s not one that sits well with the “new woman.” Although, I get the concept and as a woman, AGREE!!! It sounds weird, but I do think that if our roles are more defined then understanding your partnership will be easier. I agree with desert flower in saying the values such as honor, respect and trust are missing as well, ALL of these things MUST be discussed, understood and agreed upon BEFORE the I do’s come into play. I know that these values are number one priority in developing a relationship and the “role defining” is imperative to the maintenance of a partnership. In ANY strong team each role is clearly defined… in small groups you have a leader and someone who follows (as a bare minimum); large groups there is a President, VP, Secretary, Treasurer and so on. All of that to say, WE MUST define our roles/expectations in our relationships in order to master the concept of strong team work and partnerships… and no one person is ALWAYS the lead in EVERYTHING. I expect my man to be the leader/head of the household at all times… being a good leader requires you to know when to follow as well.

  3. I think this is great because speaking from a mans perspective all of this ties together. Woman need to understand that as a man we need to feel like that in a relationship. We have to get out of thinking hey know your roll is a bad term. You know your roll with your friends, family, and work. Why not in your relationship. This is the basics. Doing for each other making the other person happy. The very basics was being selfless. I sorry but you knew the type of guy you are marrying if he is a cheater or not. Now if you have a man that does not cheat and treats you with respect then he ups and changes then you it is probably time for you to look yourself in the mirror and think of why he might have changed or went this way. Yeah he was selfish by cheating for immediate happiness but for a real man to slip up in that manor trust me there is something that you are not doing to tickle his fancy.

    Also knowing your role is that you are a woman, an emotional being there is a reason that man are they suppose to be the head women tend to react more off of emotion than logic. I love it I know my role. Men need to step up. If a woman is not on board role to the next let someone else deal with the headaches. I want a successful relationship.

  4. But anyways I cater to my man and we split up resonsibities….I just happen to cook and clean more! But that does not define me.

    1. You’re right Doll Baby it does not define your character, just the things you’re responsible for collectively and individually to maintain your home! Not sure if the “know your role” statement is what rubbed you wrong, but I think there are things in ANY relationship that the woman or man could the best at, so that person takes the lead on that thing! So loosely put, it is knowing your role, but not in a degrading manner… Counselor Dave is referring to men knowing their roles as well!

  5. Im feeling this. Couples not only need to know their role they need to fulfill the needs of their role in the relationship. Now go get me a brew women!..joking!

  6. Roles are always extremely difficult to define. There is no magic formula; it requires a balance of the capabilities and the personalities of the people involved. With that said, I think women ultimately want men to get one thing, summarized in this statement.

    I am perfectly capable of doing everything to run my own life and possibly go above and beyond caring for myself alone; I want a man who understands and respects that, but who loves and respects me so much he wants to help shoulder that burden when possible because I am so precious to him.

    How we support each other might vary, but ultimately, if both parties are unselfish and truly putting the needs of their partner first, this will not be an issue.

    As far as the “women’s tasks” ideology, it comes across as offensive when not carefully placed in context.

    In my grandparents day, men provided as a general rule and women managed the home. These days, it is rare to find a man who is willing to shoulder the entire financial responsibility. If the woman is both working and responsible for the house, that to me seems unfair.

    Also, women have to be careful by allowing a man to have that full responsibility of providing. If she is not competent and capable of holding her own in the workplace, someday she might find herself in an incredibly difficult situation due to a failed marriage or even a traumatic accident.

    Regardless of the roles established in each particular relationship, both husbands and wives should ask, “How can I serve my spouse?” That attitude will solve the majority of these kinds of issues.

  7. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I will certainly be back.

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