This will be a three part post! So women before you get upset everyone will get it on this topic!
Everyone wants companionship of some kind. Are we entering in a day and age that men and women prefer not to be in a relationship? Well as a man there are different reasons why we prefer not to be in a relationship. Everyone think it is because there are so many more women than men or guys don’t want commitment. Yeah those are reasons but let’s be clear as we age and mature we don’t want everything that is walking, we want quality over quantity. Men also want to commit to the right one.
The main three reasons that men want to be Your Friend vs. Your Man, this might be a shocker, but we do not want the headache, we do not want to change our lifestyle, and we don’t want to work that hard (I know you thinking, what he is talking about).
Let me explain, first after we get past the lovie dovie stage women tend to change and you have something we like to call “Expectations.” You have something in your mind that says, “Hey we have been dating for 6 months, it time for a change. “ We don’t like change! Now you are starting to get on our nerves because you are complaining about every little thing. Except something! What you see as speaking your mind is sometimes a headache! So keep it to yourself.
Second, we do not want to change our lifestyle. It is not cheap out here dating anymore. Man, we have to budget just to go on dates. It is ridiculous. Man you cannot go on a date and get lobster when you know that if you were paying you would get the chicken. That is the fastest way not to get a second date. Which then we go back to the situation of why am I going to take you out when I can just come over and chill? So basically we are doing other things besides getting to know each other on a better level. Let’s go sit down at a Chick-Fil-A and eat for less than $15. Oh you to good? That is why you are single.
Third, this is nothing against women (sigh), but when I say we don’t want to work to hard I mean when we know that others did not have to work hard how you expect us to break our back to be in a relationship with you? You accepted that role from another guy we want to be that guy as well. You should take it easy on those demands. It is a pride thing. You are not about to give me a headache when the last guy got all the fun times. Now you want me to jump through hopes because I want the commitment? Right!
I Hope I Kept it GC,
Counselor Jeff
I can’t dispute some of the things you’ve posted in this writing… but other things I would question! I appreciate the honesty, without question… but it makes me want to read part two before I go in on the issues I disagree with! Don’t wanna jump the gun, but now I have an EXPECTATION (yikes)out of the next two parts, based on your opening line “everyone will get it”… 😉
Im spoil I don’t like to work that hard LOL. #3 is classic so true my friend. I am guess you are going to talk about why woman rather be friends next does that even exist? They are called Jumpoffs double standard I guess.
What you wrote is pretty true. Expectations? Then they come out of no where saying hey I need you to do this that and the third what??????? Can we just grow and chill. How about we come up with a checklist when it is time to move to the next level. So that way you can follow that then if we not where we should be then you can complain. Hey I dont think females will have a problem with Chick-Fi-La I think they all eat there that is the only fast food spot they eat at I swear.
I completely understand choosing a friendship over a relationship. That’s how I feel now. I do not have the energy to be in a relationship : compromise! Like what is that? Lol j/k. Considering someones feelings oh yeah just over all time!!!!! As far as expectations, women have the same problems as men believe it or not. Like, appearance, not saying they go from Halle to Whoopi. The head wrap comes out as well as the bifocals with toothpaste on the pimple lol. FOOD: YOU will not get dinner EVERY NIGHT or breakfast EVERY MORNING. Bedroom: don’t expect a sex slave everyday.
Some of my thoughts
I thought this was a very interesting post. I never really thought that men viewed women or being in a relationship this way. The only question I have is when is it ok to have expectations? Are men and women’s definition of expectations the same?
Timeless that is a pretty ensightful comment to say the least. You really made me think about my next writing.
You should have expectations from the beginning. Honestly I can not believe I am telling you this but that is the way to weed out the men that don’t want a relationship. I am not saying tell him you are looking to get married tomorrow but hey you want to date with the possibilities of this being the step you reach. Tell him your expectations then watch his actions. You can not lead us to that destination we have to lead you to it if that makes since.
Counselor Jeff
Expectations change fairly quick. The hard part for a guy is there is no need to truly work hard. These days being young and success is a rarity. Meaning that there are less men that are successful than women. This in result has enabled men to pick who they want and unfortunately how many. This is what makes it a challenge to commit.
Hey, you used to write wonderful, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your tremendous writings. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!
Women are a dime a dozen!, good women are a quarter a dozen…either or, they are quite affordable. Does that mean that I will treat a women like crap, no quite the contrary. However, women need to stop walking around with their nose in the air…… like they aftermath don’t stink!