There is something that seems to bother me as I get older. When women describe what they want in a man they always add that they want a man with a little thug in them. Do women really know what that means? Webster defines a thug as, a cruel or vicious ruffian, robber, or murderer. Now do you really want your husband or mate to have a little thug in him? Let’s think about this really hard. You really want someone with these characteristics?
It is funny because you wonder why it is hard for you in your relationships or why you seem to attract the men that you really don’t want to be with. Harsh reality, if you are over the age of 25 and you are still looking for men with these characteristics then you deserves what you get.
Set your standards of what you want. Stop looking at right now and look at tomorrow. When you are 60 sitting on your porch you want to be able to talk to your man and have a good time and enjoy his company. You will not be thinking about a man that has ‘thug” in him.
I think that women also need to understand that what you want is a man to be a man and knows how to treat women. I understand that women don’t want a man that is a push over but honestly if he is a real man he is not going to be a pushover and he is going to know his role in the relationship. This is the type of man that you actually are describing. I understand that this quality is what you grow up looking at as exciting or someone that can handle strong independent women. What you really is a describing a man that is going to take care of you and your children. He will stand strong. Know that you are the emotional being and carry your pain and his on his shoulders. A strong man is not selfish ladies.
Know what you want and I do not think that it really is a man with a little “thug” in him because you think they are the ones that know how to handle you. Swagger and thug are two different things, knowing the difference will go a long way. We have to change our mentality. If grown women are saying this then how cans you teach the next generation to do any better?
Thoughts?
Remember to Always Keep it GC,
Counselor Dave
I love the thugs. Plus Beyonce and her click need thugs so why can’t I have mine!!! The adreline rush of being with that type of man is what drives me, it keeps things interesting. I eapecially love my Boston bad boys! :-).
Jess
I guess I am different because I do not require a thug and never have. I have always dealt with men that are strong and confident and for me that does it. I agree if grown women are saying this about a man and what they need it is a problem.
Peace
To much Tupac in your life I guess LOL. That is my boy but I do think the 90’s really brought out this mentality in Women. These are the type of guys people associate with confidence and swag. It was not the man that was suited and booted. Usually women realize what is better for them but sometimes it is to lat meaning now they have what america considers baggage making it hard for the right guy when they finally figure it all out.
I did use to love me some bad boys but you are right if you are over 25 talking about you want a thug is non since we have to do better.
Do you like Bad girls, I like Bad girls…..just wouldn’t seriously date one! But I likes me a pretty eyed hood chick!
Where are u meeting these women who say they want a thug? Are these professional women that u work with or young girls? Real women look for a combination of qualities in a man and being a “thug” is one of the least important things on the list. A real man is one who is loyal to his woman, adores her, and makes her feel like his Queen. She doesn’t have to worry about any other women bc a real man won’t make other women an issue. A real man is honest about his feelings and doesnt play games. A real man is a protector, a provider, and will make sure that any and everybody knows how much he adores his woman. A real man doesn’t succumb to peer pressure from his “boys” and will always put his woman first. A real man is a great father to his kids and a great husband to his wife.
These are the things that a real woman will look for in a man. So if u are meeting grown ass women who still say they are looking for a thug or anything else superficial in a man, u should question her judgement a whether or not she is a real woman bc only real can recognize real.
… Then again, the same can be said about man who looks for a woman with a fat ass and a slim waist….
Real man, real women…the definition of real is arbitrary.
And what’s wrong with wanting a women with a phaty and slim waist and only supports that the women cares about her health and self image or is just gifted in those area. Women want a Thug is idiotic and contrary to what women would really want in a man. If a man had a woman that kept her buttocks and slime waist for 50 years…he would still appreciate it 50 years later….can a women say the same thing about a Thug, 50 years later?
I have yet to see a 70, 80, or 90 year old woman with a fat ass and slim waist. If u are going to play devil’s advocate, be realistic. Thugs are hardly still around 50 years later. Most are locked up or dead, and some have even changed their lives around.
People (men AND women) appreciate VALUES 50 years later.
Jack of All Trades, was that directed at my comment? If so, u must have only read the last line. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a fat ass and slim waist. To each his own. I said that those superficial things shouldn’t be the most important qualities that we look for in each other (men or women). Just because a woman is slim does not mean she’s healthy nor does it mean she’s going to be that way 50 years down the road or a couple of kids later. Outer appearance can change in an instance. Also, if u read my post, u will see part of my definition of “real” and being a thug is no where in that definition. No need for me to define it again bc u can go back and read what I said.
Are u commenting back just for the sake of the argument or was there something in my post that u actually disagreed with? Sounds like the former to me.
WOW I think that your sentence being at the end and seperated from the rest is why it sticks out so bad and anyone is really going to be able to point it out. I think the problem with that statement and maybe he can help me out is that you are comparing a slim waist to a thought process or a mentality. We are not comparing attributes. You want your man to look good and you want your woman to look good but where is there head at. Now Jack of All trades what do you mean you like bad girls? We do not portray Bad girls in the same light as a bad boy.
Notice the first thing I said was fat ass (probably artificial). A la Nicki Minaj, Diamond, Angel Lola Love, Buffie the body, [insert any well known stripper]. This has nothing to do with being healthy or in shape and absolutely nothing to do with being attractive.
I believe both of u gentleman are smart enough to take a statement in context and not take a few sound bites to try and pick apart. Also how can u try to defend a man for being so superficial that a fat ass would take precedence over having a good head on her shoulders, knowing to cook, clean, raise a family, support her man, having a great career or being the ideal housewife. That would be like me trying to say its ok for a grown ass woman to be running around talking about she need a thug in her life, a point i obviously disagree with, if u actually read my post.
You men have to start holding each other accountable and stop trying to only call women out. If u are a man over 25 and u still chasing after a certain type of female then u need to be called out just as much as the woman who is looking for a thug.
You are right and we will continue to write about men for instance the article “Dead Beat Dad” and others. This site does not just call out or check woman. Everyone can get it at anytime. So stay posted because there are plenty articles to come.
I like bad girls, and pretty hood chicks, that’s not all I like but i like em. I like that Trina, nicki minaj, phat booty, proper breast with the tattoos down her right leg type. That earring in the nose and lip, turn her nose up cuss you out looking at another girl type, that neck snapping or spanish/french, ebionics speaking girl from arond the way. She can even get traffic tickets every once in a while. But like I said would not seriously date one….No! But they are fine to be around and kick it with for a weekend or two. But any significant amount of time and I would have to move on. Howevever we must not forget just because that is not my ideal of a long term partner does not mean they are not a good person. They just wild. Lol.
Sounds good Dave, I’ll be on the lookout for what’s to come.
JackOfAllTrades u said the key words, not what u want in a longtime partner.