I know that everyone makes mistakes, but to not even be 30 years old and you have already been married and divorced is crazy. What is going on? Do people marry because this is the person they want to be with or do they marry for the sake of being married?
I really feel sorry for my generation because we are selfish in a relationship. We only think of ourselves and what a person can do for us in the relationship. We have to be selfless in our relationship period. Sometimes you have to love your spouse even when they do not deserve to be loved.
People need to learn the person that they are dating. I know that you will not completely know a person but you can learn and understand different things before marriage even happens. People will give you there resume all day but it is when you are not asking questions when you really learn. Watch and see how they react in certain situation. How are they with their family? What are their passions? What motivates them? What makes them happy? How do they treat you when they are upset?
I have dated girls in my past and they could not tell me what my favorite color was or my favorite food. That is simple stuff. I learned a long time ago that it is not about looks or the resume that they put in your face, because that only gets you through the door. It is going to take a lot more than that to get a ring. Hey what do I know I never been married before!
Remember to Keep it GC,
Counselor Dave
“To not even be 30 years old, and already married and divorced” that’s crazy. That’s a catch 22. Being together 25 years and getting a divorce at 50, is crazy to. Might as well stick it out to death do you part.
Marriage is a lost art. Unfortunately in current times it seems to have lost a lot of significant to a major portion of society. It’s like Marriage is for kicks and giggles. Many have not realized the work that is required for a long lasting, forever marriage. This coupled with non-tradition disguised as innovation has put the marriage framework in jeopardy. Marriage takes prayer, work, prayer, work and more prayer. I also belive many people misinterpet compromise, if your marriage is aligned with God and his porpose, most compromising situations between you and your spouse are mitigated.
Furthermore it’s alright to be selfish, be as selfish as you want before you get married to assist in ensureing your partner is for you. Firgure out “you” first. After all you should not be selfish in life in general, so making sure your needs and wants are met should not be a tedious demand for potential partners. And as stated leave the resumes at home, only allow applicants who produce living projects. In otherwise show me on a consistent basis how a retaliationship is benificial to both party’s. How can we work together to achieve common goals withing the marriage platform.
Counselor Andy
It’s always GC!
What does a man fear?
Simple values my friend I know it is hard but it is not rocket science everyone worried about the size of the ring and not the size of the heart.
Man everyone one is divorced these days I actually know people that got divorced because they did not want to work. Or they thought the person was going to change nothing changed buddy he/she will be the same in fact you just gave the a reason to be worst lol.
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I know people who are not even 30 who have been married and divorced TWICE, that’s very common these days but so unfortunate! But I do believe that the value of marriage is either dead and gone or in a coma!!! People’s value of family is different; people are so selfish and also lazy with no staying-power… People don’t understand forever; divorce is a quick reaction solution and not the LAST resort to a situation that is tough and unfavorable. It is too easy in some places, I remember being in Georgia last year and heard the craziest radio commercial… “Be the 19th caller and win a free divorce on Valentine’s Day…” At first I was thinking, this is a joke until I heard it on the next commercial break and the one after that and so on! LOL
Until we change the value and understanding of what marriage means, we will forever be in this predicament. I do believe that there are people out there who are hopeless romantics and that could account for the quick marriage, however you have to know that your mate has similar values and goals for the relationship. I hate that there are people who want it, but they marry people who don’t! Take your time folks, if it is meant to be it will be… marrying them today won’t stop them from leaving you if that’s what they want to do! Our generation is all about the “fast-paced”, think about it… new computers every 2 days, new cell phones every 2 days, new high speed internet, microwaves, instant oatmeal, instant grits… oh and Instant Divorce!
I could not agree with you more. I think it is all about the convience of marriage and the thought not about the work that needs to go into it. Times are different maybe we could get back to the good old days.
Women love the convience of marriage. Guys can care less about that convience. Plus marriage ain’t convient for guys, it’s more responsibility, more nagging. Ever move in with a chick and she just sudenly complains all the time and gets ultra jealous and sensative. Marriage is proabaly double that…for life! Lol, well not if you get divorced..LMBO
men and women in general, in my opinion, are afraid of committment and the work it takes to make a relationship work. We want everything to be easy. At the first sign of trouble, we run away instead of dealing with the situation head on. Life is full of hurts and dissapointments, but lets not take it out on every relationship were in. And we have got to stop using one another, just to see what we can get and we have got to stop playing games. Just keep it 100!
I take offense to this post! I was married and recently divorced. I’m 31!
I married with the intent of it being forever. My wife started to be emotionally abusive always munipulating things. She even got physical on occasions. Slapping, Scratching, pushing (not that it hurt or anything). She was older, 34 when we got married, I was 28. I attempted to work it out, counseling and all. Well I’m glad I’m divorced! I’ll never get married again. Not that I’m against marriage, it’s just I went through so much during my 1st marriage, I won’t risk freedom again.
I think a lot of Men these days need to stop being kids. Step up to the plate, be a man and take care of your queens! marry and be in it for life. Don’t just up and leave when the road gets rough.
Married at 21, divorced at 23. I would not say my relationship was horrible, however my ex needed to grow. I know he was young and may have still had some party in him. But partying is one thing and sowing your oats ever where is different. Wish it could have work out, but what happens has purpose. Not angry not bitter.
Divorce, I’m not getting no divorce. My husband know I treat him right. He can’t leave this right here! I cook, I clean, I give him the dream. Young, married and loving it!
Interesting article. Some points are coherent.
People often get married for the wrong reasons. Likewise, they get divorced for the wrong reasons. People dont take the time to truly get to know someone b4 they get married and after they are married they don’t put forth the time and effort it takes to make it work.
I want to know….what does a man want in a woman? In marriage? Because ya’ll say u want a good woman but when you have her, you do everything you can to push her away. Especially if you’ve been hurt before…A woman has to go through hell and high water just to prove herself worthy. Whats up with that?!
I have touched on this in a previous post but I will revisit this because men and women need to know what each other look for in a potential mate. Dating is very hard these days for both sides trust me Desert Flower.
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