Many women grow up learning to either “receive” from a man or “not depend on a man”. However in conflict with these concepts is the fact many want a long-term relationship or marriage.
If women truly “want what they want” they must learn how to treat a man.
Women are rarely taught how to treat a Man; at least it’s not a standard concept in the year 1970 and beyond. Women do not really discover the concept of how to treat a man until it is an “issue” of some sort. These issues could range from wanting to get married; their current relationship is falling apart or simply they are not achieving fulfilling relationships. Even in discovery of the concept of “how to treat a man”, Women are not learning to sustain and progress in their treatment of Man.
What is ironic about this situation is that Men are groomed from boyhood on “how to treat a women” or at least a shadowing concept. A Man may not have gotten the best advice, but whether it is from parents, friends, or personal research; he knows some sort of tips, techniques, and cheap shots on how to treat a women. If a Man can’t get a woman, he’s a failure. If a Woman can’t get a man, she’s single (how fair is that). 90% (not scientific) of Men spend their day concentrating on “how to treat a women” so they can get the “prize”, whatever that may be.
How many women sit around plotting and scheming on how to keep a man or get him to commit (we are talking about regular people, regular relationship on a normal basis)? Probably not many, however I will tell you; the women that get the seemingly perfect man, understand it takes planning, listening and implementation. These women know, understand, and take action in how to treat their men. Ladies these are your friends that are married/long term relationship status and you cannot figure out why. Unless she is with a man that has chosen to allow foolishness to go on, she is doing something behind closed doors that she is not telling you about. She may also be telling you the secrets to sucess and your like “that’s to much”. Most women “plot and scheme” in a time of desperation. You have to learn to do this from the start. Don’t start developing cooking skills when your man finds food next door. Don’t start to blow your mans mind after “the situation”. If you want the man to give you what you want, you have to set some ground rules for “yourself” and for him. Men “plot and scheme” on a regular basis. From the beach to the bed and from the church to the alter, men have put together plans, tactics and strategies (plot and scheme may be negative or positive). Men will go the “extra” step for the Women who they seek a fulfilling relationship with. Men want to satisfy and provide for you. Don’t think like a man; however understand what the Man is thinking.
Side Note: Although “Plot and Scheme” is used, don’t confuse yourself. Be genuine with your intentions to “wow” him; Don’t do something that you don’t vision your self being able to do on a continuous basis. You will disappoint him and you.
Men give Women what they “want” and are consistent at doing what a women wants (not part-time, special occasion or because their woman is upset) Men give women what they want because they “like” to do it. Even if they don’t like to do it, they are “self-motivated” to make it happen. They are happy for the sake that they “can” do whatever it is their women wants. Women if you have a man that is “Good” for you it will be hard to out “do” him in what he does. Just like it should be a challenge for him to “out do” you in what you “do”.
In contrast many women take on whatever it is that their man wants or that he wishes her to do for him as a “chore” or a “job”. Many Women are just not enthusiastic about “doing” for their man. They may do something, but over a period of time (like 2 weeks) they tend to fizzle out. However, they are highly upset and frustrated, when their man starts to slack off.
For instance men “open doors” for women, happily. Something a woman could do is naturally “touch” your man whenever you enter a room with him (Shoulder, elbow, etc). Will it happen all the time? “No”…but if you make a conscious effort, he will notice and appreciate it. Whisper in his ear, anything can be said as long as it’s not negative. “I really want you to do the dishes” whisper voice; sounds great to the male ego. Did I mention ‘Ego”, Man love Ego rubs! Doesn’t mean he has no confidence or is egotistical, but that ego button likes being “Pushed”.
Women also say that men fail to communicate, however many women fail to hear or comprehend. Listen to your man. The more you listen the more he will communicate with you. Actually the more you listen; you will be able to figure out where his mind is. I mean “figure him out” as in truly understanding his point of view, not jumping to conclusions. If your Man says he wants a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, ever Friday at 4pm…..have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich ever Friday at 4pm. You have to please him to get what you want. This may sound barbaric in context, however “just throw it in the bag”, sounds very jolly to a women’s ears. Man and Women need to understand that when it comes to love and commitment, sometimes you will “give” and not receive. This does no advocate being used, but you do have to rationalize that some circumstances will be unfair, however if you’re in it together, what ever is unfair or one-sided should benefit the relationship as a whole.
Men are still largely viewed and held to traditional standards. However, women are not. This is a conflict in itself. A man understands that times have changed and you may not be able to cook every day. Ladies use your assets to keep him happy and help him meet the relationships goals. Support him through the day; give him that back rub that he so desperately needs. If you want him to pay most of the time and also help you around the house, then your excuse for not doing more should not be because you work. To “keep” a man doing traditional things you need to do extra for him (keep is the key word, your man will continue to do the traditional things, however “you” may not “keep” him). Women should strive to understand the rationale behind roles of men and women in relationships. A woman does not have to live a life of servitude to a man, however do not place a man in a traditional “box” without fully comprehending the “pros” and “cons” of the situation.
Thoughts?
Remember to always keep it GC
I slightly disagree with the fact that women don’t prepare themselves and as you put it “plot and scheme” to obtain their men… I honestly think women do it so much so that they lose men in their quest. Women tend to change themselves for men, some but not all, change so much they no longer have an identity of their own. I think it’s a huge generalization to say women don’t enjoy doing thing for their men, because I think WOMEN (not girls) love taking care fo their men, and showing their support along with motivating him to be all SHE knows he can be. I think there may be a bit of a separation between women and girls or young ladies in search of womanhood… a separation that could not be realized by the male species nor the female.
I hate to say this because you seem so adamant, but as a woman who dates men, I don’t experience many men who happily open doors or pull out chairs… I shouldn’t even say happiliy… there aren’t many men who do that at all now. I have heard the reason is because women claim to be so independant, but should that change your character towards women if you still want to do it? I’m not sure I’m on the same track… however, I do agree that if a woman wants a traditional man, she should be prepared to fall into traditional roles herself. Compromising within the relationship helps tremendously; for instance if there is a woman who is in a new relationship after being single for over 7 years and isn’t used to letting go of the reigns… understanding, compromising and patience must be a huge player in the couples’ new venture.
I think that you are right in a sense. I really think that women still want a traditional man but do not really know what that means. You have to be submissive. Learn to pick and chose your battles. Sometimes you have to let things go. Now in our generation no one is the same anymore. There needs to be standards that we live by. As men and women. It starts with how kids are being raised. By videos and radio. Also ladies need to start by asking a man to do these things and not have an attitude but show him how to treat you. Honestly if you are looking for guys to just do this stuff there are not many. Men also need to show women what they want. We know what we want and sometimes it is hard to tell someone to treat you like you want to be treated but how man times are you going to have to deal with the same thing before you say babe. I like it when you do this.
Women should stop treating the guys that go over board for them as pushovers.
Men should stop treating the women that go overboard for them as groupies.
This irrational behavior helps motivate men to be bad boys and helps motivate women to be non-submissive.
Be respectful and keep the games to a minimum.
Great article! As a man I’ve experienced the good and the bad, and I can say that there is a lot of validity to your words.
You really took it there didn’t you? Okay so I can agree with some points you made but at the end of the day a man will almost always do what he has to to get the woman he wants and a woman almost always knows how to get it from him!
I love the females, I get alot of them to. This article hits some strong points. I just can’t find that chick that Im willing to settle down with. They just don’t know how to act. I treat them right, have some fun, then Im on to the next one. I mean Im good looking (like seriously, Im a part time model), I got a decent job and would like to get married.
Im assmuning Icanonlybeme is a women, so tell me what do you do to get what you want from a man…preferable if you like really want to be with me, like marry me or something?
If you not a women, please disregard, other ladies can chime in however.
JT
JT you are funny. I hope that works out for you.
I agree with many of points in this article but I think its important to be who you are in order to get what you want/need. Knowing who you are has to be a priority in order to be open to receive anything from someone else (anything that is long lasting). I do not believe in games and schemes its not necessary or worth it. I watch and listen to my man and thats how I know what it is that he wants and needs. As women we are more nuturing (not all women) and that is where it starts. As we mature in relationships we start to want better in turn you do better. Be authentic….
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Considering the blog in mind and how a woman should catch and treat her man,should they decide to cohabitate or get married down the road, is it the woman’s responsibility entirely to keep up the household on top of working just as her man. Lets say they both work, split the bills, yet when she comes home she does all the laundry, all the bathing of the kids, all the tidying up (dishes, picking up after all the kids and her husband)….should she feel happy to be doing this while he is posted up on the couch in front of sportcenter? should she also be happy doing these things if he does not still “date her” or never opens doors or puts her first? Is this her duty as a Christian woman or is it fair to say that in modern day marriages that both husband and wife should share household responsibilities? Any thoughts greatly appreciated…
There are things that a man should do. I do not believe a man should come home and just sit on his butt all day. You and your mate should come up with a schedule on how you want to handle everything. I have a couple of questions does he wash the cars? Take out the trash? Does he cut the grass? Does run errands for you? I do not think a man should come home and do nothing. Tell him you need his help and he should step in. Us as men sometimes think that a woman can do it all. If you ask then your men should step in and help out where needed.