Tag Archives: sex

10 Signs You’ve Made A Mistake And Let The Wrong Person Go

Relationships, , ,

love

 

 

 

Show of hands: How many of you broke up with someone or split up with someone and think that you may have made a huge mistake? The real question is: How do you know? Maybe the one that got away is really the one that got away, but maybe you’re just being impatient and romanticizing your past relationship.
It’s possible that you’re simply lonely and are clinging to the last meaningful relationship you had, but what if you aren’t? What if the one you let go was the one you should have been with?
What if that person is the best thing that will ever happen to you? Should you go back to him or her, ask for forgiveness and try your very best to become a part of his or her life once again?
Well, that last part I can’t tell you. However, what I can help you with is figuring out whether your imagination is simply running wild or whether you should never have let this person go.
1. You basically still think about this person every day.
Maybe not literally every single day of the week – that would be obsession – but if most days you find him or her slipping into mind, then you clearly made a bad move by walking away.
In order for a person to present himself or herself to your consciousness so regularly, he or she must have had a tremendous impact on the person you are today.
In a way, this person is a part of you. If the thoughts are followed with pleasant feelings, then he or she must be a good part of you.
2. You have yet to meet another person you are more impressed with in your life.
I’m sure I’m not the only person in the world who compares every single new candidate to the one who meant most to me. If it’s difficult to find someone who can compare then you may be… screwed.
You may think this a bit shallow, but I don’t believe it’s possible for anyone to be happy with an individual he or she believes to be less impressive than a previous partner. I don’t just mean impressive on paper, but impressive personally. Being with anyone who falls short would be settling.
3. You have never loved anyone more deeply or intensely, even if you did love again.
Each time we love, we love a little differently – sometimes very much differently. Many of us are lucky enough to fall in love more than once in our lives, each time bringing slightly different tints of the same feelings.
The thing about love is that it’s more of a drug than anything else. It literally releases the feel-good chemicals in our brains that many synthetic drugs target.
You become addicted to it, and like a drug, our best high is always the most memorable. And we’ll always be searching for that very same high – or higher.
4. This person makes up much of the person you are now.
Some people come into our lives and leave a lasting impression. Some lovers influence our lives in ways that can be almost frightening when realized.
If you find yourself performing certain behaviors – whether it’s grooming, style of clothing, organizing things in a certain way, etc. – because you know that this person would have liked it that way, then you should never have let him or her go.
If you find that you have come to like these same things that same, certain way, then the truth is that you never really let this person go.
5. It’s still the best sex you’ve ever had.
Maybe it was specific moves or the sexual chemistry was especially intense. Maybe it was because sex could be animalistic and romantic at the same time. Whatever it is, considering this person to be the greatest sexual partner you’ve ever had is not a good sign if you’re trying to move on with your life.
That isn’t to say that you haven’t ever had some great sex with other people, but if this person you’re thinking of was the most memorable sex in your life, then you may have made a mistake.
6. If this person needed you, you’d drop everything to help.
This one is often a dead giveaway. For you to be willing to drop everything that you’re doing in order to help him or her when he or she really needs it, you still care an incredible amount. How many people can you say you really care about?
Better yet, how many people would you drop everything for – leave the country for, risk losing your job for, risk pissing off your current partner for? Probably not many. Caring is the only thing that gives life meaning.
7. Your life was never better without this person than it was with him or her.
Sure, we all have (hopefully) many great memories in our lifetimes. Yet, there are certain types of memories that are not only pertinent to the situation you may have found yourself in, but also the most important memories people usually have: those involving other individuals.
If the best memories you’ve created involved the person you split up with, then I think you know you made a poor decision. In the end, you only have your memories… the more great ones, the better.
8. Every time you think of this person, you manage a smile, followed by a wave of deep-seeded sadness.
Smiling is being happy, and being happy is the goal of life. If thinking about a person you let go always brings a smile to your face, you literally drove happiness out of your life.
Now you’re stuck with the sort of happiness that only leaves you feeling like sh*t afterwards – the sort of brief happiness that reminds you of what you lost, or rather, gave away. If you let go of the one then you will likely experience this oxymoronic happiness for a long time.
9. You believe that this person is better than you.
I often think that the right person for us is the person we find to be a better person than ourselves. This person is what we aren’t – what we can’t be or can only strive to become. How can you fall out of love with a person whom you believe to be better than you in so many ways?
Not necessarily every way, but enough ways to keep you in constant awe. I’m not sure it’s possible to stop loving such a person; he or she is a step closer to perfection – an imaginary ideal every human strives for in some way or another.
10. Although you know it’s too late, there’s something in your gut telling you that you wished it weren’t.
You may not like to admit you wish it weren’t too late to try again – and since you’ve read this far, I’d like to wager that this includes you – but you feel this tension in your gut, as if struggling to convince yourself of your own lie.
Sometimes you need to be honest with yourself and admit that you made a bad decision – it’s always best to be honest with yourself. Although, I should warn you that admitting you shouldn’t have let this person go won’t get him or her back.
It may not be too late for the two of you, but it also may very well be. If you admit to yourself that you still love him or her and understand that the ship has sailed then be prepared to hurt and to do so quietly.
The best thing you can do to show this person you love him or her, in this case, is to allow him or her to live life in peace.

– See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/

All Women Must Read

Relationships, , , ,

loveMost would say that all men want is sex, money, and power and not in any particular order. Thinking about it, this could possibly be a correct statement. All jokes aside I think women will find it interesting what men really want out of life especially out of a relationship underneath the surface. If a man is not ready he really only wants the things I mention in the beginning. I have compiled a list of what I think men want and some tips. Let the debating begin!!!!!!

Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women. Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests. On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.

My experience is that women think men don’t want women to need them. That is far from the truth. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and possibly make him run away.

A tip for women
Men want what women want — a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a great man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment.
Men want a manipulation-free relationship. Men want no manipulation of any kind. I repeat man want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to be mind readers or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.

Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism or problems that they see in the relationship.

A tip for women
Men will not accept manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Just because it makes sense to you does not to mean it makes sense to him. Learn to be aware of his timing and his time-line. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise. You can get what you want out of a man it is learning how to communicate with him.
Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership. Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.

Women think men only want to have a good time. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a
woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving.

A tip for women
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.
Men want women who know how men need to be treated. Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.
Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, and their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.

A tip for women
Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you.
Men do you think this is accurate? Women do you honestly believe in your heart this is what men want? How can men better show you what it is that he wants? What are the differences in a woman’s eyes between healthy disagreements and just terrible all out communication?

Also Ladies don’t worry we will educate the men on what women really want. We know that we have to do better.

Mr. GC

Surveys Suggest Men Are Just As Insecure About Their Bodies As Women

All About Men, , , ,

armed
May 16, 2014 by the Editors
A new study confirms what we know: That more men than the media typically portrays admit to being anxious and unconfident about their body image.

New Look have recently commissioned a One Poll survey of 2,000 British male adults. It found that more men admit to being anxious and unconfident about their body image than the press or online resources would suggest. Google records thousands of results for “women’s body confidence” online in contrast to only 8 results for “men’s body confidence” [include speech marks]. This fact probably resonates with a similar study commissioned by Central YMCA and the Succeed Foundation that found men fear being judged by male friends for exhibiting too much concern about their image resulting to stress over food intake and diet in secret.

“Over the past 30 years, the ideal male physique has gained muscle and lost body fat.”

With societies’ hand on the pulse of popularity, we’re often left to wonder — why don’t men ever talk about body image issues? Would they be deemed sensitive or weak if they discussed the dissatisfaction of their appearance? Would they not be looked at as protectors and/or leaders if they honestly admitted that they have physical insecurities? Has pop culture demoralized morality and influenced masculinity to the point that men have disassociated themselves with the authenticity of vulnerability?

Messages in the media about feeling and looking powerful have a huge influence on boys. Over the past 30 years, the ideal male physique has gained muscle and lost body fat. Now, online forums and blogs make it easy to seek and share information about diet and fitness that’s not always healthy.

Boys are encouraged at an early age to think that being a man and being strong go hand in hand. Halloween superhero costumes are padded to make 6-year-olds look like they have six-packs. As they grow older, the pressure to “man up” can sometimes lead to crash diets, over exercising, smoking, or even taking dangerous supplements. And in a culture that discourages boys from talking about their feelings, it can be that much harder for parents to detect their son’s body dissatisfaction.

Evidence shows that popular culture places burdens on both men’s and women’s wellbeing and self-esteem, often resulting in low confidence and self-consciousness. From a historical perspective people, have focused more on female body image because women are perceived to have more body image issues. But that’s not necessarily the case. The cultural expectation for men’s bodies has evolved in the last several decades. Because the conversation around body image has been so focused on the feminine perspective for so long, many guys may feel bad about their appearance, but they may not quite know what to do with those feelings.

In a separate survey, conducted by New Look, 35% of women surveyed claimed that they tend to feel unconfident about their bodies with figures being almost the same as for males. In fact, women appeared to be more confident about their body image than men: 37% to 35%. A similar study found that men now spend over three hours a week on average stressing over their image and feel the level of expectation upon them is rising. “It is true that in the overall evaluation of a person’s physical appearance is still more a part of how women are evaluated than men. There are more stringent standards for female beauty,” experts say. “But they think that the standards for men are equally hard to obtain in terms of muscularity leanness and youth.”

Novelist and biographer Frances Wilson mentions that men have always been preoccupied with their appearance, historically even more so than women but now it has become more acceptable and more visible. Wilson points to a creeping vogue towards the admiration of male beauty that hasn’t existed with such intensity before. ‘I think it’s a gender issue – as a society it’s become acceptable to admit we like male beauty. When I grew up, men were invisible and women were very visible, now it’s almost the reverse. Staring at a beautiful woman can be regarded as demeaning and undermining to her but staring at a beautiful man enhances his power. It’s about degrees of legitimate objectification.’

You need only look at the raft of pwhoar-some commentary over the actor Zac Efron’s latest striptease, the former rugby international Thom Evans’s underwear ad campaign, and at the success of the website TubeCrush for evidence that society’s eye is set firmly on what men look like.

Men’s grooming is one of the fastest growing sectors of the British beauty market, with men’s skincare estimated as worth £60 million last year, a rise of 20 per cent in the past five years. HSBC this year identified a new group of consumers called the ‘yummy’,young urban male professionals who spend their money on personal grooming and fitness.

Pressures to maintain their looks paired with the influence of well-groomed celebrities such as Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt are thought to have led to the recent increase in spending habits.

On average men spend 81 minutes a day on personal grooming, including cleansing, toning and moisturising, shaving, styling hair and choosing clothes, the study found.

Women have their beauty regime down to a fine art and get hair, clothes and make-up done in just 75 minutes.

“For the past 10 years eating disorders in men have been steadily rising…”

Personal trainer Matt Roberts also points to Britain’s tricky economic terrain as a catalyst for this focus on the physical. ‘I think the recession acted as a real shake-up for most men in terms of harnessing a competitive spirit that naturally bled into fitness and looks. It became about marking yourself as the dominant male and showing that you’re stronger, fitter, in better shape and more dynamic than the men around you.’

The New Look survey showed that the most common causes of men’s body insecurities are excess fat (26%), the waistline (18%), height, muscle size and definition and penis size. A similar survey conducted by Central YMCA and the Succeed Foundation has concluded that men when asked to rate their worries on different areas of their self-image were found to show most anxiety around fears they were overweight or had a beer belly (58%), yellowing teeth (20%) and concerns over lack of muscle (14%).

‘For the past 10 years eating disorders in men have been steadily rising,’ Sam Thomas, the founder and director of the charity Men Get Eating Disorders Too, says, citing last year’s report from the Royal College of Practitioners that found a 66 per cent rise in the number of men being treated for eating disorders. ‘Now studies from the NHS Information Centre show that approximately one quarter of all sufferers of eating disorders are male,’ he says.

Thomas points to celebrity culture as one reason that men today are feeling pressure about how they look. ‘There are two extremes of cases that we see. One is the traditional masculine image of what a man should look like – muscly, macho – and the opposite is the super slim. The difference between men and women is that women have one slim ideal, whereas men are expected to be both slim and defined and muscly.’

The fashion industry’s focus on a youth-centric, skinny boy image – almost as big a trend as their teenage female counterparts.

Other interesting findings from the survey included people from the North East region of the UK to be the most confident (with an average of 5.70 out of 10) in contrast to Wales with the least body confident women and the South East with the least body confident men.

Finally, another surprising result is that men appear to consistently get more bodily confident with age, aside from the 25-34 year old age group, who were found to have the least confidence in their bodies.
– See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/cc-surveys-suggest-men-are-just-as-insecure-about-their-bodies-as-women/#sthash.6cDbXTFp.dpuf

New Study Says Men Cheat Because They Have Stronger Sexual Impulses

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By Laura BermanimagesCAALMSKO
Men might be more at risk of cheating than women because of their sexual impulses.

Women have longed asked the question “Why do men cheat?” Culturally, we tend to think of men as voracious creatures with large sexual appetites. Centuries old wisdom tells us that men can be tempted away from monogamy even by rather plain women, because “boys will be boys” and sex is simply too hard for them to resist.

The reality is that much of this isn’t true. Men and women both cheat, and men are no more likely to go astray than their female counterparts. (And, in fact, a recent study showed that when women cheat, their affairs tend to be much more dangerous to their relationship, because they tend to form more emotional and intimate bonds with their lover.)

Furthermore, it is both misguided and destructive to believe that men have no control over their sexual behavior. In doing so, we not only don’t give men enough credit (men can and do turn down sex, for a variety of reasons), but we also let them hook for their bad behavior. Instead of getting angry with the cheating husband, we direct much of our outrage at the mistress. Instead of demanding respect and consent in the bedroom, we assume that men simply can’t control themselves in that situation and that women shouldn’t be “teases” if they don’t want to go all the way.

Again, none of this is true. Most men would never cross the line or step out on their wives, but when that happens, the blame lies with no one but themselves.

However, a new study from University of Texas at Austin and Texas A&M University has found that men might exhibit higher levels of sexual impulsivity. For the first part of the study, researchers asked men and women to recall a time in their life when they were tempted by a member of the opposite sex who was “off-limits” to them, such as a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend. The researchers found that while the men and women in the study reported equal levels of self-control in those situations, the men also reported a higher level of sexual impulse. In other words, their urge to be with the forbidden fruit seemed to higher than that of the women’s urge.

In order to learn more about sexual impulsivity, the researchers conducted a second study. This time they asked men and women to look at a computer as images of attractive and unattractive people flashes across the screen. Some of the people were labeled as a “good match” and some as a “bad match.” The participants were asked only to choose partners who had been labeled as a “good match” for them.
Once again, the researchers found that the men in the study had a harder time resisting the attractive partners, even if they were labeled “bad match.”

Does this mean that men truly don’t have control over their sexual behavior? Not at all. The study found that both men and women were capable of self-control and restraint, even when they were greatly tempted.

However, it does seem as though temptation might be just a bit harder to resist for the men, perhaps because they are biologically programmed to want to mate with women they find attractive. Or, perhaps it is because we live in a society in which men are encouraged to be more sexually aggressive and open about their desires, and in which women are encouraged to be more submissive and passive. This might make it easier for women to say “no” to temptation rather than lingering on a forbidden fantasy or yearning for a partner who is off-limits.

But the good news is that they don’t have to give into impulses, and that this study in no way condones cheating. Instead, it simply helps to reveal how gender might impact the way we approach monogamy and the way we look at the opposite sex.