Tag Archives: Relationships

To All The Heartbroken Men Who Act Tough On The Outside: Don’t Give Up Hope

ADZI’m just going to go ahead and call out all you men out there. Yes, even you there, stud muffin, with your sweat-drenched, muscle-pumping, 5 o’clock shadow self. You, much like women, are either currently heartbroken or have been heartbroken by some audacious woman whom you thought was “the one.”

You can act tough, but I know that deep down, you are as soft as a teddy bear. Chances are, you have gone through the coulda, shoulda, woulda list. Sadly, you’ve been left with unanswered and empty questions.

Meanwhile, you are wondering how in the eff you’re going to get over this not-so-clever broad and if you’ll ever be able to move on.

So, in an attempt to help, here is an open letter to all those tough-on-the-outside, but soft-souled men: You’re going to be alright.

Dear Handsome,

I realize that at this current moment in time, you are hurting. You are examining every inch of your life and asking yourself how this happened and why.

While I don’t have the answers for you, and I probably never will, I can tell you that someone out there is waiting to love you with all her heart. She is wondering what it would be like to love someone as special as you, and to know what it feels like to be with someone she truly connects with.

I know you don’t see it now, and it will take some time, but this is for the better. It’s a growing point in your life; some things aren’t meant to last forever and they fall apart so better things can fall together.

I can tell you that whoever broke your heart didn’t realize how good she had it. Truth be told, she didn’t deserve to have you in the first place.

This person has conditioned you to work on yourself, and to help you become an even better man than you already are. You will be someone else’s dream come true. There’s someone in this world who looks at you and her heart beams. She smiles without even knowing it.

You are always on her mind, and you’re the first thing she thinks of when she wakes up. She ask herself how she went this long without knowing someone as awesome as you. That’s something to look forward to during this process.

When you’ve been damaged, the last thing on your mind is someone new. You grasp onto old memories, and just keeping asking, why? What did you do so wrong? Were you not enough? Did you not give enough attention? Did you not love her hard enough? Is there something wrong with you?

I only ask two simple things of you: Stop asking why and please don’t blame yourself. Insecurities can truly ruin any relationship, and nine times out of 10, it has nothing to do with you.

It hurts as if your heart has been stabbed with a million burning knives. You’re probably thinking you can’t move on from this, but I am here to tell you that you can and you will. Whether it’s centerstage or behind the curtain, someone cares and will be there for whatever you need.

You probably barely know or might not even know the person who is smiling at the thought of you right now.

When the timing is right, and the stars align in the night sky, it will all work out. Healing is a process, and it takes however long your heart needs.

Wake up each day thinking, “I can and will get through this,” and I promise that you will. Keep your beautiful face held high, smile and know that your future is waiting for you.

Take each day in stride, and whatever you do, please don’t shut down. You will close yourself off to a love that is waiting for you. Whether you see it or not, you are an incredible individual with so much potential to make someone happier than she ever imagined possible.

We have all been broken before, and it’s up to us to rebuild and move forward. It’s not the end; just think of how much better your next relationship will be. Forgive her, forgive yourself, make new friends, build bonds with new people and remember to smile.

To the woman who destroyed your amazing heart, thank you. Thank you for letting this incredible man go, and giving someone else the opportunity to love and cherish him the way he deserves. Thank you for quitting and allowing someone new to heal and mend his heart.

True love doesn’t quit, and you closed the door. No judgment, just a huge thank you. You are helping someone else’s future of pure bliss and happiness come to fruition.

Keep your head up, handsome. She is out there and waiting patiently for when the time is right.

Sincerely, Your Friend 

Originally appeared at Elite Daily


Men May Have the Key to a Happy Marriage

Dr. Jed Diamond believes that men can and should become leaders in maintaining long-lasting relationships, and he’s got the science to back him up.

As a psychotherapist I have been helping people find, keep, and develop healthy loving relationships for more than 40 years now. Carlin and I have been married (third marriage for each of us) for 34 years. I had hoped being a therapist would protect our relationship from the problems so many of my clients face, but it didn’t. We’ve had to deal with irritability and anger, male menopause, depression, bipolar disorder, boredom, and beady-eyed fights.
“Falling in love and being loved in return is the peak experience of human existence…”
Like most couples, Carlin and I were joyfully and passionately “in love,” but it didn’t last. Over the years, the little irritations of life began to grind away at us. We missed what we once had, but didn’t know how to recapture it. Maybe staying in love was an illusion, we thought. Perhaps George Bernard Shaw was right when observed in 1908, “When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.”
If we look at the statistics, the odds of “living happily ever after” are against us. Around 50% of first marriages end in divorce and second and third marriages fare even worse. But we learned that science offers a new perspective on love and how it can last. “Falling in love and being loved in return is the peak experience of human existence,” says Dr. Fran Cohen, author of The New Science of Love: How Understanding Your Brain’s Wiring Can Help Rekindle Your Relationship. “When love fades, we can quite literally use our brains to bring it back.”
Two experts who have helped us reclaim our loving relationship are John Gottman, who recently wrote another helpful book, What Makes Love Last? How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal and Sue Johnson, author of Love Sense: A Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships. If you’re serious about learning to love, you couldn’t find better guides than these.
We’ve long believed that how women feel determines the state of the marriage–“Happy wife, happy life.” But new research from the University of Chicago indicates that men may hold the key to the emotional state of the relationship. The study, “Marital Conflict in Older Couples: Positivity, Personality, and Health,”reports results from a national survey with data analyzed from 953 heterosexual couples who were married or cohabitating. The study participants ranged in age from 63 to 90 years old and the average length of their relationships was 39 years.
“Wives report more conflict if their husband is in poor health,” said the study’s lead author, James Iveniuk, PhD candidate in the Department of Sociology. “If the wife is in poor health, there doesn’t seem to be any difference in terms of the quality of the marriage for the husband.” Another key difference was in a measure the researchers call positive expressivity which includes things like being gentle, helpful, kind, and understanding. “Wives whose husbands show higher levels of positivity reported less conflict. However, the wives’ positivity had no association with their husbands’ reports of conflict,” Iveniuk said.
Why Men’s Moods Matter
“Men are very often more sensitive than women, despite stereotypes you’ve heard,” says relationship expert April Masini. “It’s a lot easier for men to become depressed or unhappy than women in the same circumstances. Men are sensitive, and when they’re unhappy, the marriage dynamic flags.”
Masini’s experience is validated by the work of long-time relationship expert Dr. John Gottman. In his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Gottman discovered some surprising things about men’s emotions and how they impact relationships. Gottman traces men’s greater reactivity to stress in the relationship to our evolutionary past. “Males whose adrenaline kicked in quite readily who did not calm down so easily were more likely to survive and procreate.”
“Men can have a huge impact on the state of their relationship and the key is to deal with the stresses that can overwhelm…
Gottman goes on to say, “to this day, the male cardiovascular system remains more reactive than the female and slower to recover from stress.” For example, if a man and woman suddenly hear a very loud, brief sound, like a blowout, most likely his heart will beat faster than hers and stay accelerated longer. The same goes for their blood pressure. This helps account for the fact, Gottman believes, that men tend to withdraw and avoid conflict in a relationship. “It’s a biological fact,” says Gottman. “Men are more easily overwhelmed by marital conflict than are their wives.”
Women often complain that men don’t want to talk about difficult issues, that they withdraw when she wants to express herself. This may be true, but not because men aren’t interested in listening or in resolving conflict. It may be because he is more easily overwhelmed by conflict and be becomes “flooded.” Dr. Gottman says, “Frequently feeling flooded leads almost inevitably to distancing yourself from your spouse. That in turn leads you to feel lonely.”
This was certainly the case with Carlin and me. Once we learned to reduce the stress we felt, we could share more openly without criticism or blame.
Men often believe that they can do little to improve their relationship, that relationships are “women’s work.” But it turns out that men can have a huge impact on the state of their relationship and the key is to deal with the stresses that can overwhelm and “flood” them. In my book Stress Relief for Men: How to Use the Revolutionary Tools of Energy Healing to Live Well,I teach men, and the women who love them, how to use four energy healing tools to get their relationship back on track. I’ve used them myself to reclaim the easy love that I thought my wife and I had lost. I’ve taught them to many of my clients.
Men may hold the key to creating a happy marriage and once they learn that they not only have the power to make things better, but the skills to do so effectively, they are ready to act. Men no longer have to feel they are powerless in relationship. In fact, they may find that they can lead the way in making their relationships wonderful.

10 Signs You’ve Made A Mistake And Let The Wrong Person Go





Show of hands: How many of you broke up with someone or split up with someone and think that you may have made a huge mistake? The real question is: How do you know? Maybe the one that got away is really the one that got away, but maybe you’re just being impatient and romanticizing your past relationship.
It’s possible that you’re simply lonely and are clinging to the last meaningful relationship you had, but what if you aren’t? What if the one you let go was the one you should have been with?
What if that person is the best thing that will ever happen to you? Should you go back to him or her, ask for forgiveness and try your very best to become a part of his or her life once again?
Well, that last part I can’t tell you. However, what I can help you with is figuring out whether your imagination is simply running wild or whether you should never have let this person go.
1. You basically still think about this person every day.
Maybe not literally every single day of the week – that would be obsession – but if most days you find him or her slipping into mind, then you clearly made a bad move by walking away.
In order for a person to present himself or herself to your consciousness so regularly, he or she must have had a tremendous impact on the person you are today.
In a way, this person is a part of you. If the thoughts are followed with pleasant feelings, then he or she must be a good part of you.
2. You have yet to meet another person you are more impressed with in your life.
I’m sure I’m not the only person in the world who compares every single new candidate to the one who meant most to me. If it’s difficult to find someone who can compare then you may be… screwed.
You may think this a bit shallow, but I don’t believe it’s possible for anyone to be happy with an individual he or she believes to be less impressive than a previous partner. I don’t just mean impressive on paper, but impressive personally. Being with anyone who falls short would be settling.
3. You have never loved anyone more deeply or intensely, even if you did love again.
Each time we love, we love a little differently – sometimes very much differently. Many of us are lucky enough to fall in love more than once in our lives, each time bringing slightly different tints of the same feelings.
The thing about love is that it’s more of a drug than anything else. It literally releases the feel-good chemicals in our brains that many synthetic drugs target.
You become addicted to it, and like a drug, our best high is always the most memorable. And we’ll always be searching for that very same high – or higher.
4. This person makes up much of the person you are now.
Some people come into our lives and leave a lasting impression. Some lovers influence our lives in ways that can be almost frightening when realized.
If you find yourself performing certain behaviors – whether it’s grooming, style of clothing, organizing things in a certain way, etc. – because you know that this person would have liked it that way, then you should never have let him or her go.
If you find that you have come to like these same things that same, certain way, then the truth is that you never really let this person go.
5. It’s still the best sex you’ve ever had.
Maybe it was specific moves or the sexual chemistry was especially intense. Maybe it was because sex could be animalistic and romantic at the same time. Whatever it is, considering this person to be the greatest sexual partner you’ve ever had is not a good sign if you’re trying to move on with your life.
That isn’t to say that you haven’t ever had some great sex with other people, but if this person you’re thinking of was the most memorable sex in your life, then you may have made a mistake.
6. If this person needed you, you’d drop everything to help.
This one is often a dead giveaway. For you to be willing to drop everything that you’re doing in order to help him or her when he or she really needs it, you still care an incredible amount. How many people can you say you really care about?
Better yet, how many people would you drop everything for – leave the country for, risk losing your job for, risk pissing off your current partner for? Probably not many. Caring is the only thing that gives life meaning.
7. Your life was never better without this person than it was with him or her.
Sure, we all have (hopefully) many great memories in our lifetimes. Yet, there are certain types of memories that are not only pertinent to the situation you may have found yourself in, but also the most important memories people usually have: those involving other individuals.
If the best memories you’ve created involved the person you split up with, then I think you know you made a poor decision. In the end, you only have your memories… the more great ones, the better.
8. Every time you think of this person, you manage a smile, followed by a wave of deep-seeded sadness.
Smiling is being happy, and being happy is the goal of life. If thinking about a person you let go always brings a smile to your face, you literally drove happiness out of your life.
Now you’re stuck with the sort of happiness that only leaves you feeling like sh*t afterwards – the sort of brief happiness that reminds you of what you lost, or rather, gave away. If you let go of the one then you will likely experience this oxymoronic happiness for a long time.
9. You believe that this person is better than you.
I often think that the right person for us is the person we find to be a better person than ourselves. This person is what we aren’t – what we can’t be or can only strive to become. How can you fall out of love with a person whom you believe to be better than you in so many ways?
Not necessarily every way, but enough ways to keep you in constant awe. I’m not sure it’s possible to stop loving such a person; he or she is a step closer to perfection – an imaginary ideal every human strives for in some way or another.
10. Although you know it’s too late, there’s something in your gut telling you that you wished it weren’t.
You may not like to admit you wish it weren’t too late to try again – and since you’ve read this far, I’d like to wager that this includes you – but you feel this tension in your gut, as if struggling to convince yourself of your own lie.
Sometimes you need to be honest with yourself and admit that you made a bad decision – it’s always best to be honest with yourself. Although, I should warn you that admitting you shouldn’t have let this person go won’t get him or her back.
It may not be too late for the two of you, but it also may very well be. If you admit to yourself that you still love him or her and understand that the ship has sailed then be prepared to hurt and to do so quietly.
The best thing you can do to show this person you love him or her, in this case, is to allow him or her to live life in peace.

– See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/

Letter to My Son

father son
Where do I start? I want to let you know that I love you already and I’ve never met you in my life. I think about you all the time and I wonder if you will look like me, talk like me, walk like me. You are the reason that I do everything that I do now. I refuse to have you calling someone else your mentor, your hero or your father.

I cannot wait to see you take your first steps, say your first words, and give me a hug. I will not use excuses that I do not know how to be a father stop me from loving you and being there for you. See the thing is once you come into my life, you will be my priority for the next 18 years.
I am going to teach you how to be a man of God, a strong man, and a leader. I will show you how to tie a tie, bait your own fishing hook, and throw a baseball. Even as I write this I get tears of joy in my eyes because you are so special to me. I want to give you all that I did not have, while teaching you to appreciate everything that is given to you. You will know hard work and dedication and not be the product of a microwaveable society if I have anything to do with it.

It is my duty to teach you values, and respect for your elders, even if they are wrong. You have to understand your place as a child and know your place, but if there is a problem I will handle it. Make sure that you speak with authority. Make sure you look a man in his eyes when you are talking. When you shake a man’s hand make sure you grip his hand with confidence.

I cannot wait to see you play sports for the first time, I will be right there at every game that I can possibly be at cheering you on from the stands and proudly letting everyone know that is my boy.
I want you to be better than I will ever be. So if I am tough on you at times, that is only me showing you how much I love you. This is a tough world, so I need you to be ready for everything that comes your way. You are a Prince learning to become a King, in your own right.

I will be consistent in your growth. When the time is right, we will have a talk about sex; I will explain to you that one night you are going to wake up and think you urinated on yourself but there will not be any urine there. I want you come to me and talk about it so that I can help you understand what just happened.

Even though we haven’t met yet, I know it will be something special when we do. Adrian Taylor, Jr. has a nice ring to it. Before I end this letter son, there is going to be a time when you start getting involved with young ladies and if you ever have any questions on how to treat that special young lady, just follow my example of how I treat your mother and everything will work out for you.
Adrian Taylor Sr.

How to Lose a Guy…Forever

By Raymond Bechard


I was talking to a guy installing carpet in a friend’s home the other day. For some reason, he asked my advice on whether or not he should have a surprise birthday party for his girlfriend. “She’s hitting the big 4-0, so I don’t know if she wants to celebrate it or ignore it,” he said. That made sense, some people would rather not draw attention to birthdays ending in zeros. So I asked him a simple question, “Is she a positive person? You know, does she usually look on the bright side of things?”

His face immediately lit up as he reached for his phone. “Take a look at her face and you’ll know.” He held up the phone with the beaming photo of his girlfriend, who looked no more than 27, tops. As he showed me her picture, he said the five best words I have ever heard to describe a relationship that is working – at least from a man’s perspective, “She makes every day better.”

It doesn’t get any simpler than that. I’ve heard men talk about relationships and girlfriends, what they like and don’t like, what they want and don’t want, what drives them nuts, and even what hurts them. But, I’ve never heard it put better than those five words.

“She makes every day better.” In all honesty, that is what every man wants. If he is fortunate enough to find a lady who understands that concept and loves him enough to stand by him – as he does with her – to make every day better, then he should move heaven and earth to spend the rest of his life with her and prove himself worthy.

It’s too bad though. That kind of love doesn’t seem to be in vogue these days. Today, relationships seem to have evolved into some kind of adversarial competition where every action or inaction is tallied in an unending scorecard leading to the eventual defeat – or death – of the relationship itself. It’s no longer fashionable to look at romantic relationships as something precious, a beautiful organism that must be cherished if it is to thrive – or even survive – long term.

It’s futile to fight this powerful trend. So ladies, in order to stay current here are some guaranteed tips for losing a guy forever. By the way, these can be used by men as well, but that’s another article for another day.

#1 – Don’t learn what emotional intimacy is.

Forget what psychologist Malini Shah says, “Emotional intimacy is a feeling of close personal association and belonging. It’s a familiar connect formed through shared knowledge of each other and experience.” That would mean taking the time to find a man with whom you can build trust and be yourself. Worst of all it would mean not just accepting him for who he is, but celebrating who he is.

#2 – Don’t respect him.

Even if he deserves your respect, do not, under any circumstances show him the kind of respect you want and need. Don’t value him. Don’t listen. Don’t consider his priorities or concerns. Make sure he feels your life would be much better if he weren’t in it. On the other hand, if he truly doesn’t deserve your respect, leave him. Leave him now. And if he doesn’t respect you then he doesn’t deserve yours. Again, leave.

#3 – Don’t like him.

Sure, you love him, but do you like him? Never forget he’s probably closer to you than anyone else in his life so it’s your responsibility to make sure he doesn’t get out of line. If you want to make sure he’s unhappy and dwindling away inside, show him you don’t like him.

#4 – Complain about him.

Believe it or not (and lots of men will get mad at me for revealing this to you) most of us look to the women in our lives, or the woman closest to us, to determine how we feel about ourselves. Make sure he knows you are keeping score against him by openly expecting him to screw up. Tell all your friends what a loser he is and never, ever genuinely praise him.

#5 – Judge him.

If you want him to stop being open and honest, or if you just want him to start hiding things from you, make sure you judge him negatively every chance you get. If you can’t find anything negative that is even remotely valid, just make something up. Do anything to keep him on the defensive. Remember, every day brings new opportunities to find new faults in him.

#6 – Don’t trust him.

He’s a guy – don’t trust him – no matter how trustworthy, honest, reliable or loyal he actually proves himself to be. Of course, if he truly can’t or shouldn’t be trusted, leave the jerk. No excuses. You will never have emotional intimacy if there is no chance of mutual trust.

#7 – Blame him.

If you’re divorced, blame him. If your last boyfriend treated you badly, blame him. If you’re children aren’t behaving, blame him. Take all your anger, frustration, fears and insecurities and place them squarely on the doorstep of his life. Whatever negative feelings or experiences you are having, he should be punished for it.

#8 – Stay angry.

He’s a guy. He must have done something wrong. Even if you don’t know what it is, it still pisses you off. You don’t need to know exactly when or what he did whatever it is, he definitely did it. Save time and get angry now. Then, stay angry . . . because there’s no end to the ways he’s messed up with . . . something.

#9 – Don’t be reliable.

Make sure he knows that you are not there for him no matter how badly he may need you. That way he will know never to rely on you for anything. If you are the one person he wants to call when something really bad, or really good, happens don’t be available or interested.

#10 – Don’t get help.

You’ve been through a lot, a lot of pain, a lot that isn’t fair, a lot of horrible stuff that has wounded you. Sometimes you feel broken. Whatever you do, don’t try to effectively heal your wounds in any way. Don’t go to therapy. Don’t apply what you’ve learned in self-help books. Don’t explore faith our spirituality. Don’t ever look back at the injustices done to you or the wrong choices you’ve made and deal with them. Do whatever you can to simply mask the pain or push it down.

#11 – Don’t take responsibility.

Never apologize. Never ever admit that something you have done may have hurt him. Just live as though you are incapable of hurting him, no matter how badly you do. Don’t forget, this relationship is about you and healing your pain. His is irrelevant.

#12 – Don’t take him seriously.

You are the only one who has a right to emotions, troubles, challenges, and heartache. If he exhibits any of these it just means he is weak. You don’t have time to deal with your problems and his. He’s there for you, after all. Not the other way around.

#13 – Don’t support him.

Leave him alone, isolated, and adrift. He’s a man and should be able to handle whatever comes his way by himself. You don’t have time for a man who needs your help. If he needs support, an ally, an advocate, or you as a true friend – maybe even his best friend – then he’s not worth it.

#14 – Don’t forgive him.

Okay, he will eventually screw up for real. We all do. When he does make a mistake use it to validate all the terrible things you’ve been thinking and saying about him. Forgiving him will only teach him that he can just get away with it again. Instead, identify him by his mistakes. And being constantly told what a terrible man he is will certainly make him a better one.

#15 – Don’t learn anything.

After the relationship ends – and if you follow these guidelines, it will – don’t take away anything from it. Simply lay the blame openly on him and move forward into your next relationship by doing exactly the same thing.

However, if you are not someone who follows the latest trends then just do the opposite of all this. Find a man who wants to make your every day better and do the same for him.

Is it Really That Simple?

Today’s relationships are harder than they’ve ever been. Everything is so readily available and no one wants to give in a relationship. We want instant gratification and if it is not there when we want it, we are ready to move on. We always tend to look at the media or books that show us someone else’s relationship. We tend to, whether publicly or secretly, want what others have. Just because one couple works does not mean that if you had that person it would work. Trust me everyone has their faults, but can you deal with what faults they bring to the table? Compatibility is real. A relationship is hard work on both parts. You have to be able to listen to each other and respect each other.

Sometimes you have to look inside yourself and ask yourself “Where am I going wrong in this process?” Some people have the same issues over and over and over. At some point, you have to do some soul searching, on your own; meaning without someone else’s input on what you should be doing with your love life. Here are a couple questions that can help you; what is there about me that attracts the same people? Why do I get to a certain point in my relationship and it never seems to go to the next step? Do I love myself? Do I respect myself? Am I willing to receive love?

I think that once you can honestly answer these questions, you can move on to the process of finding someone that works with you. You see, how I said “with you” and not “for you”; because they have to be willing to understand what you need in a relationship. If they do not understand or maybe if they feel your demands are too much, then nothing is going to change that, you will continue to have problems. I have come to the understanding that there is one thing that all happy and successful couples can say, and that is they felt the other person in the relationship cared for their feelings as much or even more than their own, and hey, maybe it is that simple!

Remember to Keep It GC,
Adrian “GC Smooth” Taylor

Sister Tips: 5 Ways to Get Out of a Relationship Rut

Sister Tips: 5 Ways to Get Out of a Relationship Rut

by Tamera Mowry

Hey everyone,

Time for a Sister Tip! I got a message in my inbox recently from a site user who said she was getting bored in her long-term relationship and wanted to know how she could spice things up.  I thought I’d do a post on it – I’m sure she’s not the only woman out there who feels this way! Here’s some of my advice if you find yourself stuck in a relationship rut:

1.) Know it’s normal: The first thing you should do when you start feeling bored is to stop blaming yourself.  A lot of women may freak out when they find that their initial passion has faded and start assuming that there must be wrong with their relationship.  There isn’t.  When you first start a relationship, you’re usually head over heels obsessed with the person – they’re all you can think about, you want to spend every moment with them, butterflies explode in your stomach when you look at them…you get the idea.  As a relationship grows, that initial fiery passion fades into a calm, steady simmer – and that’s completely normal! You know the saying, “Love is a choice”?  Basically, it means that you have to choose to keep loving your significant other, because all those butterflies from the beginning of your relationship are temporary.  Butterflies aren’t love – they’re infatuation.  Real love is slow and steady and patient. But that doesn’t mean you can’t spice things up along the way…

2.) Break the pattern: One thing I suggest is to try something new.  This sounds too easy, but it’s the truth. If your relationship routine starts feeling boring, then switch it up! Skip your dinner-TV-sleep schedule and do something you’ve never done before with your partner.  I’m not saying you have to go hang gliding (those of us with a fear of heights are just fine on the ground, thanks!), but even going out and trying a new restaurant can inject new life into a relationship. Tia’s got a great list of fun, unexpected date ideas…

3.) Be romantic:  Before you know it, your significant other can start feeling more like a friend than a boyfriend or husband.  And while friendship and trust should be a basis of any relationship, it’s important not to forget the romance!  From now on, start paying more attention to your relationship – when your hubby comes home, greet him with a big hug and a teenager-y kiss.  Text him a funny memory that only the two of you share to bring a smile to his face.  Keep the romance in your relationship!

4.) Take a class: Learning something new together as a couple can be a fun way to mentally re-engage with your partner.  Because the two of you are learning it together, it gives you something new to connect and talk about! Try an interesting new cooking class, or a dance or exercise class.  And you don’t have to take it completely seriously – let yourself giggle! A light, fun atmosphere can help cultivate more conversation and remind you both why you fell in love with each other again 🙂

5.) Keep dating: Dating is something you should be doing even after you’ve tied the knot.  Just because you’re husband and wife (or in a serious relationship) doesn’t mean you should just start taking each other for granted.  It’s an easy trap to fall into – after all, who needs to be wooed when they’re already committed? The answer is: everyone.  Relationships require maintenance, and one easy way to keep it running smoothly is to spend quality time with each other.  Try scheduling a weekly date night – and don’t just go to the same old restaurant every time.  Surprise him by taking him to the place where you both went on your first date – nothing rekindles a spark like reminding yourself of exactly how you felt when you first met!