Tag Archives: relationship

All Women Must Read

loveMost would say that all men want is sex, money, and power and not in any particular order. Thinking about it, this could possibly be a correct statement. All jokes aside I think women will find it interesting what men really want out of life especially out of a relationship underneath the surface. If a man is not ready he really only wants the things I mention in the beginning. I have compiled a list of what I think men want and some tips. Let the debating begin!!!!!!

Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women. Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests. On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.

My experience is that women think men don’t want women to need them. That is far from the truth. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and possibly make him run away.

A tip for women
Men want what women want — a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a great man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment.
Men want a manipulation-free relationship. Men want no manipulation of any kind. I repeat man want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to be mind readers or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.

Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgment, and so tend to only verbalize criticism or problems that they see in the relationship.

A tip for women
Men will not accept manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Just because it makes sense to you does not to mean it makes sense to him. Learn to be aware of his timing and his time-line. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise. You can get what you want out of a man it is learning how to communicate with him.
Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership. Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.

Women think men only want to have a good time. Women think men have no interest in developing and growing a relationship or developing and growing themselves. Women think men want women who are super models, and that they never consider whether a
woman is emotionally mature, kind, supportive, or loving.

A tip for women
Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly. To attract a great man and build a long-term relationship, learn to take responsibility for your emotional experience and expression.
Men want women who know how men need to be treated. Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.
Women think men do not need them, do not value their opinion, their support, and their praise. Women also think men do not care about many things important to women, which is why they criticize. Criticism is a way to verbalize resentment.

A tip for women
Most men want acknowledgment and appreciation from women. Learning to acknowledge instead of making your partner wrong is one of the most powerful relationship survival tools available to you.
Men do you think this is accurate? Women do you honestly believe in your heart this is what men want? How can men better show you what it is that he wants? What are the differences in a woman’s eyes between healthy disagreements and just terrible all out communication?

Also Ladies don’t worry we will educate the men on what women really want. We know that we have to do better.

Mr. GC

How Not to Win a Woman’s Heart

love
Seduction can be a complicated game, especially when it comes to women. Often women expect their partners to be‘mind-readers’ and they want them to know exactly what they want and need (without the poor guy ever being told what that is!) Luckily, there are a few standbys which many women agree upon.

Here is a cheat sheet to help you seduce your partner:

1. You don’t plan dates.Women love to be romancedand seduced, and sometimes something as simple as dinner reservations can make her feel loved and cared for. However, guys sometimes sit back on date night because they don’t want to make the wrong choice. But, rest assured, it’s the effort that counts, regardless of if she loves Middle Eastern fare or seafood.

2. You forget to compliment her.Sure, you think she’s beautiful, but if you never tell her, she can easily start to wonder if you have lost your attraction to her. A small compliment such as “You look sexy in that dress” can leave her smiling all day — and bonus, she’ll be more likely to channel that complimentary and erotic energy right back to you.

3. You don’t let her vent.Men sometimes don’t understand venting for venting’s sake, but by letting your partner complainabout her daily concerns or coworkers without cutting her off, you are actually helping her to feel supported and important. Don’t try to interrupt her or give her solutions unless she asks for help — she might just want to get something off her chest and think about her own solutions.

4. You don’t make her feel desirable.It’s easy for women to get caught in the trap of feeling like nothing more than mommies, and it can be hard to switch from that mode right into vixen mode. Help her to tap into her vixen on a regular basis by buying her lingerie or sending her sexy texts throughout the day.

5. You don’t help out around the house.Ever heard of “choreplay?” It’s a funny term used to describe the sexy surge of energy that can occur when a man helps his wife out around the house. The woman feels more appreciated, and she also has more time and energy to take a hot bath and get in the mood.

6. You give up your past self.Both you and your partner need to have separate interests and hobbies that keep you engaging and well-rounded people. Don’t give up your friends or your extracurricular activities just because you are with your partner — your many interests and unique hobbies are what made you so desirable to her in the first place.

7. Don’t morph into one of her gal-pals.Sometimes women try to drag their guys everywhere from the nail salon to chick flicks, and while their intentions are good (they just want to spend time with you), it can turn your relationship into more of a friendship. Keep that sexual energy in place by letting her engage in those guilty pleasures with her girlfriends — absence makes the heart grow fonder, especially when it comes to the latest installment of Steel Magnolias.

8. You don’t make any moves.Some people are shocked at how much women are responding to the BDSM-eroticaFifty Shades of Grey, but personally I think it makes a lot of sense. Women appreciate Christian Grey because he is commanding and confident and he takes charge in the bedroom, allowing his partner to simply lay back and accept pleasure without inhibition. You don’t need to break out the handcuffs (unless she wants you to), but you can bring that same feeling to your bedroom simply by being more assertive and confident.

9. You don’t kiss her anymore.It’s so simple but so important! Kissing keeps you bonded and intimate, and it helps keep you sexual energy intact even on those days when you don’t have time to have sex. Whether it’s an innocent kiss or a full-on lip-lock, make sure you kiss her for at least 10 seconds everyday.

10. You don’t stand up for her.Whether it’s taking her side on a parenting issue or defending her to a rude waiter, your partner wants nothing more than to feel protected and supported by the man in her life. You don’t have to morph into a caveman, but you can turn her day around by simply saying “I am on your side, what can I do to help?”

Last Updated: 01/09/2013
Laura Berman, PhD, is a leading sex and relationship educator and therapist, popular TV and radio host, New York Times best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago.

Keep Your Friend Close and Your Enemies Closer

I have been hearing this quote my entire life and it is garbage. I do not agree with this statement at all. I think you should keep your enemies close and your friends closer. You know where your enemies stand; so you are not surprised by anything that they do. Now your friends they are the one that are plotting secretly against you and your dreams (so called friends). I’ve never been discouraged by a hater but my closest people have been able to make me feel like I’m less of a man or my dreams couldn’t ever become a reality. Haters motivate! You love your friends and you believe in the things that they are telling you.
Sometimes your friends do not have your best interest at heart. You have to understand which friends’ love you even understand your flaws. Now sometimes we can come to our friends with an off the wall idea that makes no since. Then you have to understand hate and a reality check. Let not get that twisted but we do have friends that are just negative and always downing our hopes and dreams. Get rid of them. They are no good for you. But first talk to them let them know that you do not feel like they are not being a great friend and also the key thing is you need to let them know why. The last thing that you want to do is lose a good friend but if they aren’t being much of a friend then you need to let them go. Some people are in your life for a season.

Remember to Keep It GC,
Adrian “GC Smooth” Taylor

The Devil Wants to Kill What He is Afraid of!

GCLogo
The devil hates what God loves which means he hates mankind and every since he was cast out of heaven to the earth his primary mission has been to seek kill, and destroy. He hates man because what man represents, he is also afraid of man, and he knows that one can chase a thousands and two can put 10 thousand to flight. The devil knows that if he wants to kill the man he has to kill the manchild because if the male child grows up to be a man then he knows that he is in trouble. What the devil does is try to kill the male at birth so that the potential to grow into a man is eliminated. In this text that is exactly what he tried to do, because pharaoh could not afflict the Israelites and because God continue to prosper them he ordered to have every male child killed. How many of you know that the devil don’t have power he only has permission, and he can only do what you allow him to do. The Pharaoh put the hit out on the babies, but the fear of God caused the women to disobey the Pharaoh and save the babies, somebody say “obey God before man”! Obedience is better than sacrifice! As a believer we need to be more worried about what God says about us rather than man, but we get so caught up in what our neighbors say about us, or how they feel and what they are going to think about us till we will disregard what God says over a man. Obeying God is what is going to get us to heaven and get us through the toughest times in our lives. God is faithful and he will take care of us and provide, but obedience to God is the key. Think about the devil and his hatred towards the male child, he deceived Eve who was the world’s first mother knowing that if he could get to her seed through her then he could affect everything man that would come from her, but he had to effect Adam which was to father the sinful and corrupted men of all earth. So when Adam ate of the fruit it affected the seed of man from within, understand that just because his seed was effected God can still get the glory out of the man through his what? His obedience and praise. What did Satan do to kill the praise? First he got into the heart of Cain with the spirit of disobedience to kill his obedient brother, because he was giving honor and glory to God by being obedient. Once that evil deed had been done it started a cycle in the male gender! Satan kills what he is afraid of; he knew that if Cain was obedient to God then both he and his brother Able would be a threat to him. Fast forward to the obedience of Mary and Joseph, when given instructions by God to prepare for the birth of Jesus, Satan was so scared of the ideal and thought of the son of God being born he tried to stop it by having all the babies 2 years and younger killed in hopes that he would kill Jesus, because he hates God so much. So now rewind back to this text, so here he is afraid on the Israelites and in fear of being overtaken by them, so he ordered to have the babies killed so that they can’t reproduce and eventually they would die off. The fear of God and the obedience to cause these women to disobey Pharaoh, if any of these people in this story or the other stories would have been disobedient to God instead of the King that ruled over them, then none of us would be here now. In closing I want to say once again that obedience is better than sacrifice, if the devil is attacking you and is trying to kill you or your seed then that means that he is scared of you, because the devil only kills what he is afraid of. Amen!

Daniel Evans

3 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married

By Tyler Wardlove
I used to think I had my stuff together. Then I got married.

Marriage is great—but it rocked everything I knew. I quickly realized my basic goal in life, prior to getting married, was to simply remain undisturbed.

This “disruption” came suddenly and was disguised as a 5-foot-nothing Swedish-Filipino woman. When I decided I’d rather not live without her, I proceeded to ask her to marry me—that is, to officially invite someone who wasn’t me to be in my personal space for the rest of my life.

This decision introduced my most significant experiences and most challenging experiences—none of which I would trade for the world.

However, I wish I’d had a bit more insight on the front end of our marriage to help me navigate it all.

According to most research, more than 50 percent of people who say “I do” will not be sleeping in the same bed eight years from now. And though Scripture alludes to the fact that adultery and abuse may be reasons individuals might end a marriage, I’d be willing to bet that most challenges experienced in marriage are the result of unawareness. Most people—myself included—jump into marriage with suitcases full of misconceptions and bad theology, entirely unaware of the unique beauty and paradoxical intentions of marriage.

Although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight.
The following are three thoughts on marriage that friends and mentors have shared with me. I remind myself of them often in hopes of keeping this anomaly called marriage both enjoyable and healthy.

1. Marriage is not about living happily ever after.

Here’s the truth: I get annoyed at my wife. But this is more a reflection of me than her.

I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she’s looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on—but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.

Unfortunately for her, deserving or not, her needs often compete with my self-focus. I know it shouldn’t be this way, but I am selfish and stubborn and, overall, human.

I once read a book that alluded to the idea that marriage is the fire of life—that somehow it’s designed to refine all our dysfunction and spur us into progressive wholeness. In this light, contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow.

When we’re willing to see it this way, then the points of friction in our marriages quickly become gifts that consistently invite us into a more whole and fulfilling experience of life.
2. The more you give to marriage, the more it gives back.

Over the past year, a few friends and I have had an open conversation about the highs and lows of marriage—specifically how to make the most of the high times and avoid the low ones. Along the way, we happened upon a derailing hypothesis that goes something like this: If one makes their husband or wife priority number one, all other areas of life benefit.

When we return marriage to its rightful place in our priorities, it can quickly turn into the greatest asset to every other layer of our lives.
It’s a disorienting claim. Disorienting, because it protests my deeper persuasion that success as an entrepreneur, or any professional, requires that career takes the throne of my priorities and remain there for, at the very least, a couple of years.

However, seeing that my recent pattern of caring about work over marriage had produced little more than paying bills and a miserable wife, I figured giving the philosophy a test drive couldn’t hurt.

For 31 days, I intentionally put my wife first over everything else, and then I tracked how it worked. I created a metric for these purposes, to mark our relationship as priority, and then my effectiveness in all other areas of my life on the same scale, including career productivity and general quality of life.

To my surprise, a month later, I had a chart of data and a handful of ironic experiences to prove that the more you give to marriage, the more it gives back.

Notably, on the days my wife genuinely felt valued, I observed her advocating for me to invest deeply in to my work. She no longer saw our relationship and my career pursuits as competitors for my attention, and as she partnered with me in my career, I have experienced the benefits of having the closest person in my life champion me.

Of course, marriage requires sacrifice. And sometimes it will feel as if it takes and takes. However, when we return marriage to its rightful place in our priorities, it can quickly turn from something we have to maintain and sacrifice for into the greatest asset to every other layer of our lives.
3. Marriage can change the world.

John Medina, the author of Brain Rules and a Christian biologist, is often approached by men looking for the silver bullet of fathering. In one way or another, they all come around to asking, “What’s the most important thing I can do as a father?”

Medina’s answer alludes to a surprising truth.

In my previously mentioned experiment, I measured the effect that making my marriage priority number one had on different areas of my life. One of those areas was my 16-month-old son’s behavior.

What I found in simply charting my observations was that the majority of the time, my child’s behavior was directly affected by the level of intention I invested in my marriage.

Re-enter John Medina, the Christian biologist. After years of biological research and several books on parenting conclusions, what is his answer to the question, “What’s the most important thing I can do as a father”?

“Go home and love your wife.”

Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam, the authors of Babywise, say it this way: “A healthy marriage creates an infused stability within the family and a haven of security for a child in their development process.” They go on to sum up their years of research by saying, “In the end, great marriages produce great parents.”

The point is that marriage has a higher goal than to make two people happy or even whole. Yes, the investment we make into our marriage pays dividends for us. But, concluded by Medina and his colleagues, the same investment also has significant implications for our family, our community and eventually our culture.

So men, women, the next time you find yourself dreaming about living significantly or succeeding in your career or being a better parent than yours were to you, do the world a favor: Go home and love your wife. Go home and and love your husband.

Are You Ready for Your Mate?

are-you-readyIt is funny how we pray to God and ask him to send us the good mate that we want and when He sends them to us we do not know how to handle it. It’s crazy that we pray about it for months and years and when God answers our prayers we freeze up! We tend to talk ourselves out of our blessings. We say, “Someone cannot be this genuine and no one can be this good to me.” We become “not ready” for it.

Sometimes, we have to put our fears to the side and jump out on faith. If you are dating someone and you are used to being in bad relationships, it is going to be hard to trust the person that is doing everything right. It is something different. We are afraid of what we do not know. If you have had failed relationships over and over, it does not mean this person is going to steal your heart and run too.

From this day forward, if you are dating right now, I want you to put your past behind you and give the next person a clean slate. If he or she is a good person, let them be that to you. Do not ask silly questions like, “Why are you single?” Don’t tell them, “You are dating a bunch of people because you are too good.” It’s possible they are single because they were specially made for you. I know that it is hard for you to just let go and trust that someone will have your best interest but just take it slow and date each other. There is no reason to rush into something. Build that bond with each other. Do not be afraid, because you could possibly push a good thing away and not know it.

Remember to Keep It GC,

Counselor Adrian

Day 8 Advice to Men on Relationships

Cook for her! I don’t know what it is, but there is just something about a man who can cook and clean that gets my fire going. Granted, I don’t want a man to clean my house and do all my chores, but I guarantee you, at least for this woman, a man who is not afraid to or too lazy to pitch in and help around the house will really increase my intimacy meter.

However, what I’m talking about here is actually taking the time to cook her a homemade meal. It’s okay if you don’t know how to cook. You can buy a lot of pre-cooked or pre-packaged meals or foods from the supermarket to help you along, and you can use the internet for recipe and easy meal ideas. It doesn’t have to be a gourmet meal, it just has to be something YOU made for HER.

Then, when the meal is complete, don’t let her lift a finger to help with the clean up! Make it her night, where she doesn’t have to worry about a single thing – no making dinner, no clearing the table, no cleaning the stove, no washing dishes. You see, the meal will not mean as much if you leave her with all the clean up after.

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