Tag Archives: Dr. Jai

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY’S WORD: INTEGRITY

integrity
Integrity is so important when you are working to achieve your goals. In hindsight, do you accept the decisions that you have made? Are you content with your path toward greatness and are you getting there through hard work or climbing and stomping on the backs of others? I love seeing people succeed, but I have a problem when they do it underhandedly, especially my students.

I’d be hypocritical to say that I have always been ‘by the book’ while I was a student in school. I found my shortcuts to getting things done and my grade reflected it and not in a good way either. The outcome reflected my half-steppin’. But one thing I desire not to do is put someone in a situation in which I have chosen to be in, meaning, I am do bad by myself. I can think of one time I put my friends in a compromising situation and I still hear about it… 15 years later! To know that I affected them in a way that was lasting didn’t make me feel very good.

Integrity is such a big part of growth. It is learned. It is shown. It is witnessed. I desire all three, exercising integrity in all situations, especially as an adult and, even more so, as a parent. So what is my point? Don’t expect me to exercise a lack of integrity, especially as a professor. I have told my students SO many times that I do not ‘give’ grades! They EARN them. I remember one I received an email and the student was asking about a ‘C’ grade earned. I explained the grade and how the student received it. The student stated that this grade could prevent them from going to nursing school and that they wanted it changed to a ‘B’. I told the student to call me. When the student called, I said that I couldn’t change a grade that was earned. This student pushed and asked and almost begged for this grade change and I told the student, very calmly,

“Sorry, but I can’t live with such dishonesty. Can you?” The student said, “Huh?” I replied, “If you really want the ‘B’, please contact my director and let her know what you desire.” *silence* I continued to state, “You have plenty of time to do better in your other classes to help your GPA.” *silence* Then the students said, “Okay, thank you” and we said our ‘goodbyes’.

I thought that the situation would infuriate me. It definitely surprised me, but what made me mad is what situation occurred previously that gave this student the nerve to ask for a better grade? Has this been done before and if so, what professor would do that? So, they have tainted their own integrity and the student witnessed it and, apparently, thought this was okay. Again, this is speculation. Maybe this was the first time and they thought they would take a shot at it. Well, the student got SHOT DOWN! You will appreciate your journey to success when you travel the road of integrity.

REMEMBER: WHEN YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL, AIN’T NO HALF STEPPIN’! INTEGRITY IS LEARNED; GRADES ARE EARNED!

Check out BDK ‘Ain’t No Half-Steppin” here


Dr. Janice (‘Jai’) Armstrong
CEO, LiHK Consulting, LLC
Collegiate Success Coaching, Training and Development
“Discover what you LiHK (like); Become who you Love”

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY’S WORD: TRUST

20130710-085158.jpg
What is your trust level? For me, I trust anyone until they prove that they can’t be trusted. I use the ‘innocent until proven guilty’ approach. Some folks do not trust anyone, which is fine for the individual, but may ruin relationships with those with whom they encounter. Surely, I can understand that gaining trust can be huge for some people, so taking those baby steps to establish rapport first is helpful. It is one of the first rules in #leadership. As you desire to lead a better life for yourself, try to offer some emotional flexibility to others; it shows normalcy, which can help your rapport! Just be true (normal/genuine); tell and honor the truth (rapport/harmony) and establish trust. You will thank yourself for it!

~ Dr. Jai

HUMP DAY WEDNESDAY WORD: FUN

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY’S WORD: FUN

kids

Dear LiHK Leaders,

As we get older, at least in my experiences, ‘fun’ falls to the wayside a bit. Other priorities arise and the notion of ‘fun’ isn’t AS important. One may have the opportunity to ‘enjoy’ something: like a glass of wine; a good movie; a nice dinner… but FUN takes more ACTION! You have to MAKE things FUN. It seems, to me, that there is a greater physical and emotional appreciation for what FUN is when it happens. We increase those endorphins and enhance that dopamine when we have FUN!!! REMEMBER ‘dopamine’, by thinking, “Dope is Mine”… get high on LIFE and have FUN!! (No, not ‘dope’ literally!! Just a little psych lesson that I use for my students to help them remember important brain neurotransmitters (gossip between nerves)).

fun

Anyway, here is the story behind this: My son, Jayson, was sitting in the back seat of my truck this morning. He had his earphones on watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse, cheerios in his lap, and his sunglasses on upside down! I tell him all of the time that they are on wrong, but he keeps them that way. Today, at a stop light, I asked him to give me the glasses and I placed them in his hand the right way, encouraging him to, as I tell him, “put the nose in the nose hole!” He put them on, upside down again. I said, “Jayson, why you want them on like that?” He simply said, “It’s FUN, Mommy!” We can learn a lot from kids; they remind us what having PURE fun is like! Forget about how you look and what people think of you. When YOU are smiling and laughing and enjoy a GOOD TIME for yourself; others opinions really don’t matter. Love life and have FUN! It’s almost summer time; the season of FUN!! Embrace it!

Dr. Jai

(www.lihkleaders.com and http://about.me/drjanicearmstrong )

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY WORD WITH DR. JAI: THRIVE

To thrive is to become ‘strong’ and to ‘flourish’!! We feel joy when we overcome the challenges that may be presented as we move toward our ultimate goals!! When we continue to pursue our dreams, goals and aspirations, it makes sense to actually expect the unexpected! If it doesn’t happen, great! You move forward with ease; however, when challenges do arise, you can approach them with the expectation that THEY WON’T LAST!! You have to have the drive to thrive!!
thrive1
Think about a flower in the Spring: it buds; it flourishes; and continues to grow. Despite the rain, the storms, the challenges of the elements, the bug infestations, etc, the flower has a game plan… it grows new leaves and pedals. It moves itself toward the sun and stretches to gain as much nourishment and power so that it can continue to flourish. Some flowers can produce other buds so when the main flower is ‘taken down’, the ‘legacy’ flowers still remain! Flowers grow in a deep foundation; they are well-rooted! Their strength to ‘live’ allows them the flourish and so THEY THRIVE!!

There are many stories I can tell about my desire to thrive. I have lived a challenged life that, in retrospect, I created for myself!! Were there motives? Yes, but the ability for those motives to take control of my life was MY doing! The consequences were felt tremendously and when I desired not to feel the ‘pimp slap’ of a trying life any longer; I yelled at it and made MY choice to thrive!!!

Do you have a game plan? When life presents the ‘preview’ of its challenges, are you setting things up so that you can handle its ‘debut’? To whom will you stretch toward to gain YOUR power!?!? Tell yourself that you are on this Earth for a unique purpose; tell yourself that you want to LIVE out that purpose. Put it out there…into the universe and say, “Help me GET TO my purpose!” Pray, plan, implement, move, live, flourish, andTHRIVE!

~ Dr. Jai, the leading lady (www.lihkleaders.com)
“Discover what you LiHK; Become who you Love!”

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY’S WORD: SACRIFICE by DR. JAI

In order to get to a certain level of satisfaction in our lives, we are faced with sacrificing certain things. Our relationships, our health, our lives are tested when sacrificial situations are introduced. Sometimes sacrifice is seen as a negative component; however, the action and the outcomes are cherished after the fact because you see the result of those sacrifices. Our relationships, health and lives will sustain if we make smarter decisions.

Sacrifice comes from two Latin words: “sacrum” and “facio”. It literally means, “to make sacred”. There is nothing wrong with making sacrifices for the life you desire for you and your family. When you are willing to make sacrifices, that means that you truly care about those for whom you are making them for! YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, YOUR HEALTH, AND YOUR LIFE ARE “SACRIFICE”!!

The-important-thing-is-this-to-be-able-at-any-moment-to-sacrifice-what-we-are-for-what-we-could-become_-Charles-Dubois

HERE’S A STORY: With the support of my husband, I decided to pursue my doctorate degree. We had no idea what it would entail, but we were ready to sacrifice our time for it. Mind you, we had date nights and were very spontaneous with outings and gatherings. When school work became intense, Jay would tell me to put work to the side and get away from it. It was SO hard to do because I felt I needed to stick it out, but I sacrificed my own feelings and went along with his advice, which was the best advice I could have taken. At that point I made the decision not to do school work on the weekends and it helped me mentally and socially, as date nights returned.

In 2010, in the midst of the first year of my program, we found out we were pregnant. We weren’t planning to have children until the program was over (3 years later); however, God gave us a blessing. I was a little panicked because I was faced with the decision to stop the program or keep going, not knowing how I would get through. I was willing to sacrifice the pursuit of my degree to raise our family. Jay told me that I could handle it. He always saw more in me than I saw within myself. I sacrificed time again to get work done sooner, so once the baby was born, we could focus on family. Honestly, the initial change from date nights all of the time actually prepared us for the time change we would experience with a little one added to our family. Time well spent, however.

Jay made the decision to sacrifice his time as a photographer to dedicate to our family as well. He didn’t really book gigs for almost an entire year. I could see that he ‘lost’ something. I supported him to get back into the swing of things and you could see the change in him to return 1) to what he loved to do and 2) to be able to support our family doing it. He sacrificed his love in his craft for his love for us. Some would say, “Isn’t that obvious?”, but you still don’t want to ‘lose yourself’ in general.

Then in the beginning of 2012, as I am approaching the end of my program, we are blessed with child number two!! Again, we found ourselves pinching our time to ensure that I could knock out school work and graduate earlier in order to enjoy both of our little angels. It had it’s rough spots, let me tell you, but nothing that would complicate our lives or our relationship. Today, I am finished school and working to build my business; Jay is continuing with photography with an added focus in fashion shoots. Both are VERY time consuming, but we make it all work and we make these sacrifices, not only for each other, but for the love of our family!! We MAKE time for each other; we MAKE time for our kids! We can’t get to everybody’s events, but they know that we love them 🙂 There is just new foci in our lives and we wouldn’t change it for the world. Our love and family is the result of Jesus’ Sacrifice. We look forward to what God has for us via our sacrifices as well!

SACRIFICE CAN BE A GOOD THING; JUST MAKE GOOD DECISIONS!

Signed, the Leading Lady,
Dr. Jai