Is It the Caret Size?

I have had this conversation with a group of women and a group of guys and there are two different tones in the conversation.  I personally do not understand what the big issue is.  Men feel that they cannot give a woman a $1000-$2000 ring anymore.

Let us start from the beginning.  Engagement rings were started a long time ago.  Apparently, it is the time between the proposal and the actual day of marriage.  This basically is a symbol that put a woman off the market.  So it is basically a promise that, “I am going to marry you.”  Now, the diamond ring came into play (not only from commercial affects) because of the meaning, “Diamonds are Forever.”  Since you are coming into this unbreakable bond that is supposed to last forever, why not get a great stone?

If a man gets you a ring that you do not want will you turn him down, even if you love him?  When I poll men they seem to think that a woman will.  When I talk to women there are a lot of mixed emotions and feelings.  Some say it does not matter.  Some say things like it has to be 2 carets or more.  It just depends on who you are asking.

Does a wedding band mean anything anymore?  As a man it is hard because I can afford to buy a nice ring, but I also want to be with someone that loves me no matter what size the ring is that I get.  She cares more about the bond that we are forming.  She doesn’t even care what people think about the ring.  Let’s be honest the ring is a people pleaser.  Maybe that is the fairy tale life that women live in.  They want it all.

Another thing I found from the men I talk to that got their woman an inexpensive ring seem to be happy in their marriage.  They knew that it did not matter and could speak very confidently in the love they shared with each other.  That is a very nice bond.  I want that.

I open another question, do you mind if you get a cheaper ring then upgrade after 5 years?  This could be something between you, showing a milestone in your marriage.  I am not saying that it is all about the ring.  I will say it once again, I can afford a nice ring it is more of the mind frame and thought process that I am looking at.

Sometimes I think that we get so caught up in the over hype of the marriage process that we forget about the marriage itself.  I am not married but I know that it takes a lot of work.  I definitely think having someone that is more worried about the lifelong commitment and bond is more important than the size of the ring.

Remember to Keep it GC,

Counselor Dave

15 thoughts on “Is It the Caret Size?

  1. LOL you know you are going to get ripped for this post right. Women are going to say it is not about the ring. It is about the ring. People want to go broke over a wedding the get divorced 3 years later. I know so many people under the age of 30 on there second marriage already. My wife loves me. I got her a nice ring. I refuse to get a 8,000 ring we could use that towards new furniture and appliances for the new house that we got. People have lost sight on the true meaning of a meaningful marriage. Hopefully you learn quick! I personally think it is a great post. It does make you think. I hope it works out for you Dave because times are different.

  2. I am not going to lie you can keep all of that. I want the ring the wedding and the life committment. I do not think it is to much to ask for. I know my worth. I deserve to a least have a caret or two on my finger. I was about to get on here and lie but I can not it would be a problem for me if I did not get the right ring. Plus get me my ring one time and one time only I do not need upgrades. So it does matter.

    1. “I know my worth”

      LOL – I love that comment because I see it and hear it a lot, but it is never explained by those who use it. Perhaps you could provide clarity.

      What are you defining as “your worth?”
      How does you knowing “your worth” qualify you for that carat or two?
      Is there some sort of law put into place that is used to say because you know your worth you deserve this huge carat?
      Ok so you say “you know” your worth and you deserve to have this huge diamond. It is all about you you you and what you know you deserve?!?

      Let’s take a moment and really make it about YOU!

      What have YOU done to deserve a carat or two? Are YOU driving yourself crazy trying to figure out the right way to propose? Are YOU spending thousands of dollars on anything to symbolize the love YOU have for your man?What type of return on investment are YOU providing to him for mustering up enough courage, to get down on one knee and say “Hey, I love YOU and I would like for YOU to be my life partner. Would YOU do me the honor of taking this journey with me? I love YOU. Will YOU marry me?” Then going out and spending a ton of money on a one to two carat diamond ring for YOU?

      In comparison to the aforementioned deeds that your man does, what unselfish acts, symbolism, or confessions of Love have YOU performed to deserve this?

      What? Sit around and critic everything down to the proposal, the size of the ring, and the wedding in order to measure how much YOU think much he really loves YOU. And they wonder why the divorce rate in the country is so high.

      Really Though -_-

      1. WOW I was just being honest with you. But to answer your question I deserve it all because with me you are getting it all. I am Smart, Funny, Beautiful, and a joy to be around. You are winning with me everyday of the week baby. So when a man comes over here he already knows what it is. So a guy like do not even bring your application over here. I am trying to build a winning team and I just want celebrate the championship in advance. Now I never said that I would not help if need be because I am that type of “Lady”. Counselor Dave you need to school this young man on how to act in public.

  3. I’m totally different than the “polled woman”, I want a ring because of what it symbolizes… truth is I don’t know enough about diamonds to really care about the cut and the size. I’ll be 30 in less than 60 days… I want a trustworthy union that will last the rest of my days, far more important than a ring size! And to add onto that, I’d rather a house, a great vacation/honeymoon… If given the choice I’d take a pretty wedding band with personal inscription and “MY” perfect one over a “show piece” anyday! Beauty fades…

  4. That’s why alot of females be single. Their mind is stuck in fairy tales. I don’t think the ring should be invisible but at the same time if I offered you a ring pop, I would hope you would say yes. If not, it is on to the next one!

    To add to that note, if you are riding around in a BMW 745, or stay buying out the bar, then the ring you buy your wife to be should be of record also. Pretty much the ring should show effort and thought, it should be somewhat of an accomplishment to buy your women a ring.

  5. It’s love for me anyday and anytime. The ring is a symbol of a union and to let everyone know that you are married. Believe me, I love diamonds but that’s not as important to have a trusting and loving relationship with the person you are going to share and spend your life with. Getting a house, having little debt, saving money, enjoying each other and most of all making plans for the future and a solid foundation for the relationship is a given over a 2 carat ring. Also, if anything happens and the relationship ends in a divorce, the ring can be given back to the man because it is part of the contract.

  6. This is interesting. I do not think females are really going to say how they feel about this. Why would they you are putting them on the spot with the question. I think that the times just have change our entire outlook on marriage ring and the life long commitment. Getting a career and a family is what people use to do in america now it is all about self and what one can do for you. For some reason because one person has gotten lost. Now it is all about lights camera action. I want it to be about the bond that we have I want to be with my soul mate. Advice to the ladies do not tell a man that the size of the ring matters in a serious conversation. It is a turn off. Because it seems like that all you care about. Tell him that it does not matter and you probably will get what you want LOL. reverse it!!!!

  7. Do I want a man to get down on one knee and propose to me? Yes. Do I care about the caret size? No. Honestly. you can get me a nice cubic zirconia and I’m good.
    Do I know my worth as a woman? Yes, but I’m not going to say my worth is based on carets, or better yet, dollar signs. What you should think about is that this man just said he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, isn’t that your worth right there?!? Someone started this tradition of “the ring” many moons ago and I’m sorry fellas because it sure has stuck. But, it’s sad some women feel the gift in a proposal is in the the ring because the true gift is the words that just came out of his mouth, when he asked you to marry him.
    Remember, men have a worth to ladies, its not all about us. Don’t let a good man go because of the ring he got you; you just might end up finding another who give you “the ring” and not treat you like your worth later.

  8. I want a small simple ring I hate jewelry and I hate big bulky rings I like simple things better. I’ll only be upset if it’s gold cause I don’t like that color IDC about the size a bigger ring does not mean you love me more. If I really love him he can probably get away with buying me a dollar store ring and I wouldn’t care some women ask for too much now days

  9. Its not the size of the ring, it’s the size of the love and commitment. The engagement ring is a symbol of promise and the wedding band a symbol of commitment. The wedding band forms the shape of a circle which symbolizes eternity. The wedding rings are worn on the “ring finger” bc it is connected to a vein that goes directly to the heart.

    I want the promise of eternal love, commitment, honesty, faithfulness, etc that the ring symbolizes. I want a man who will forever honor those commitments to me and likewise I will forever honor those commitments to him.

    A woman shouldn’t measure her mans love and commitment by the size/price of the ring. If the ring makes u question his commitment then there are probably deeper underlying issues in the relationship.

    At the same time, a man shouldn’t buy a woman a cheap ring just to “test” her love for him. If you feel like the relationship is ready to be elevated to that level then you should be confident that she has true intentions. If he has to question that then he might want to rethink the relationship.

  10. I want to thank the women on here for there comments. I was hoping to have a couple more woman to say the ring size does matter and say exactly why? As a man I want to know why so I can deal accordingly. It might help me with my thought process around this topic.

  11. You should do a survey of how many (men) and women have lost their wedding ring lol. The size shouldn’t matter at all. obviously you want to give your wife something that looks nice but the ring shouldn’t define the marriage. Marriage is ultimately a mind set, a ring is only a non verbal way to let the public know you’re married.

  12. This is very interesting,I have been in a long term relationship for 14years and it has resulted in us being engaged and date set for June 2013….It’s been work overall,,,an a investment in one another to officially want to commit ourselves in a unity through GOD….and to say WE are forever in love yesterday,today,tomorrows!!!! So the ring size did matter to me, he showed me his love&thought put in on selecting the perfect ring for me.

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