Through out life many are taught to win. We learn that winning is the ultimate prize, or at least very desirable. Even when coach talks about sportsmanship and mother tells us it’s “just a game”; in the back of our minds we are thinking “yeah that’s fine, I appreciate your
opinion; however I’m here to win”. The essence of winning gives us an adrenaline rush, a sense of pride and worth. Furthermore in many endeavors, winning directly affects our purse and our livelihood. With this being said, how many have pondered on aspects in our lives where winning is desirable however, it is not beneficial?
This brings us to a unique struggle of the aspect of winning which is particularly present in relationships;professional, social and romantic. Some times this struggle aligned with our
desire to win hampers or most precious connections. Picture doing the majority of work on a prestigious project that levitated your department out of the red. Although you supplied the majority of effort and your boss simply signed the paperwork; he/she is the one recognized for the accomplishment at the end of the quarter. When faced with this
scenario how beneficial is it to make your efforts known to the water cooler crowd, talk to your boss about the situation or even go to your boss’s boss and explain why you should have been recognized? Making your point known (the win) may make you feel good but does it benefit you in your career growth or your ultimate goal to get that promotion. This is not to advocate allowing people to abuse their relationship standing, however one
should analyze their battles, and ask thyself if winning is the most beneficial outcome?
Relationships are the central of our very being. The capacity to build and maintain healthy relationships is the single most important condition for happiness, success and fulfillment.
In romantic relationships sometimes without knowing, we can be overbearing with our fixation of winning or inability to be submissive to one another. We often take a micro viewpoint of our daily lives and inappropriately lessen expectations of macro aspects, in other words fail to see “the big picture”; what our relationships are attempting to accomplish. This fixation of winning may evolve into arguments, resentment and/or unfortunately relationship break down. For instance “toilet seat up or toilet seat down”, although simple and mundane, this “or” has caused or has been the face of many unneeded disputes for multiple couples. Feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, facts, statistics or experiences.